Cold

Do you like cold? I do not. Not at all.

Cold hurts me. I have poor circulation, particularly in my feet. My feet get so cold, you would think I was dead. I like to be warm.

Ha ha, last night, it was 57 in here when I took a bath and I got an erection when I sat in the hot water. That is how my body reacts to sudden temperature change. It was worse when I was younger but now, either that or direct stimulation can cause excitement in me.

It is cold right now, my fingers are numb. It snowed a little today but I want you to see this.

From the National Weather Service www.weather.gov

Overnight: Rain likely. Cloudy, with a low around 36. East southeast wind between 5 and 10 mph. Chance of precipitation is 70%.

Monday: Rain likely and possibly a thunderstorm before noon, then a slight chance of rain and thunderstorms after noon. Cloudy, then gradually becoming mostly sunny, with a high near 59. East wind 5 to 15 mph becoming west southwest. Winds could gust as high as 20 mph. Chance of precipitation is 60%.

Monday Night: Mostly clear, with a low around 44. West southwest wind between 5 and 10 mph.

Tuesday: Mostly sunny, with a high near 70. Calm wind becoming southeast between 5 and 10 mph.

Now consider that it is 34 as I write this.

My house has no central heat. The unit is broken and we cannot afford to get it repaired. The heaters here are turned off at night for whatever inane reason. I do not want to invite wrath by turning them on.

I freeze on nights like this.

Ever since I left wm, I wear sweatpants all day unless I rarely leave the house. They do nothing about keeping me warm. The cold spreads up my legs and to my maleness. That is quite unpleasant.

I hate the cold.

I know people who like it. Oh? Sit in my chair in here when it is 57 inside. My desk thermometer says right now 64 degrees, 16% relative humidity.

Wouldn't you know that I am cursed with dry skin as well? Everything gets dry, even my maleness. I do not use lotion unless it gets really bad.

When I worked in the store, I have worked for 4 different stores in my 17 year work era, handling cardboard dried my hands out something fierce. Now it isn't so bad that I don't do that now but I will return to a store one of these days because it is basically all I know how to do and will likely have the same problem. I am older now, however.

Ever see your pee steam as it leaves you? It is not cool. So cold. Your body temperature is 98 degrees or so.

I wish I could live somewhere with climate control but as it is, I can't go anywhere. I have no money. No job. I wish I could have a girlfriend I could stay with. I couldn't with Jen and her freaking dogs. I hate dogs. I am cat person.

As the forecast says, it won't be cold for long. Good. I could not take this for much longer.

It makes me wonder that when I am dead, will my body be cold faster? It is not yet time to test that. I am not suicidal feeling now, but that is a specter that looms over me as my feelings get the better of me sometimes.

When I feel suicidal, I listen to music, I try to write on my stories. I might go outside or cut myself to dissuade the feeling. I get that way in holidays, but strangely, Valentine's Day isn't affecting me when usually it reminds me of something I do not have, love.

I am feeling better.

I was woke up earlier when the snow was falling. It looked like a dreamscape. I did not like it but my friends on FB say it was so pretty.

Yea, pretty like perishing in the snow as Captain Scott and his party did in 1912.

Cold is not pretty.