Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Earl


There hasn't been a hurricane that I would comment on until now.

This one may or may not make things rough on the east coast of the USA, perhaps revealing the disparity between how the US Govt. treats hurricane damage in more affluent areas of the country. I remember thinking about and going to New Orleans but never had enough money to. I wanted and still want to help.

This is Earl, a fairly well-heeled hurricane, being deflected by a seasonal boundary in the eastern US, preventing it from entering the Gulf of Mexico, thankfully. It has suffered enough, hasn't it? A hurricane hitting the Gulf Coast now could be way more than disastrous. I'm hoping and praying that tropical cyclones stay out of the Gulf.

I may comment on Fiona when it becomes more photogenic.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Grr! Dog Days

I've held off bitching about the hot weather this summer. I've spent 98% of it indoors. But as these days continue, I have to admit, it's gotten to me.

Why?

1. It is constantly 90+ degrees in my room. This is thanks to the failure of the central a/c system in my house that no one is bothering to fix and so I must rely on 3 fans, two big and one small. They create enough of a breeze in concert to allieviate sweating all my body moisture away. The humidity in here also hovers around 24% and if it wasn't for sweating, my skin would crack and dry out. This is more of a wintertime malady.

2. Insect activity has exploded. I am bit by bugs constantly and the flies are prolific everywhere. Even at the store. We used to use a chemical fogger for flies at the 1st store I worked at and gosh, we poisoned ourselves more than once with that thing, as someone had to set it before we left and locked up the store. There is an insect problem here, I will admit. What do you expect? This is the rural wasteland.

3. My computer shuts off when it gets too hot. I think this is the power supply doing this and I guess that is a good thing. I am getting to where I cannot use my computer in the late afternoon. It is making me very upset. Is this hurting my pc? I don't really know.

4. I cannot sleep when it is too hot. I wear sweatpants and a shirt when I sleep. This is largely related to the insect thing. But I have always slept in this. I stoppped sleeping in my underwear when I was a teenager and had my 1st wet dream. Ick. I sleep best when it is cold, I have all kinds of blankets and warm wear, even a Snuggie lol, but they are useless in this torrid heat. Even now, at 235 am it is 90 degrees in here. I have a desktop hydrometer/thermometer thingy I originally got to monitor humidty levels.

I thought I could stay out of the heat unlike the last three years when I was out in it at the wm. There have been almost 30 consecutive days above 100 F in CenTx. This is related to climate change, and don't say it isn't. And it's an El Nina season, a pretty strong one so who knows what the winter will be like? I used to be able to take the heat but as I got older and started taking antidepressants that tolerance was eroded away. Conversely, I cannot stand the cold. It hurts.

This angers me too. For most of the year, I wouldnt dream of taking a cold shower, and yet, I have for the last month or so. The cold soothes when I am too hot but the last few are leaving me uncomfortable. It is a bitter relief.

I hope this heatwave breaks soon. It was 107 today in Waco, which isnt that far from here. The sun, it is entering the active part of its 11-year cycle, but then, it is not as energetic like past seasons, likely because of a minimum cycle theorized to be on a 300 year cycle.

Few people bother to learn history these days but in the 1700s, there was an exceptionally cold few years called the little ice age. This could be beause of that 300-year cycle. Lord help us if it happens again. Things cost too much now. It always costs more when it is cold it seems.

I can stay hydrated here, unlike when I was at wm. This is not good because I pee more and that hurts my prostate.

Oh, and a No. 5 for ya. I am wearing shorts, and ick, who wants to see my pasty white legs? I am self-conscious when I have to go to the store in them. I am trying to adapt to an overnight scheme as I have for most of my adult life but it is hard. It is hard to sleep when the sun is beating down on the house, making it hot in here.

And gosh, opening up the front door in the afternoon is like opening a furnace. The storm door gets too hot to touch.

It should let up in the later weeks of September but I don't know. Seasons ain't what they used to be.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

A Character of Mine

For as long as I have been out of high school, approaching 16 years, I have written thousands of stories all connected in one big space opera serial. Characters have come and gone. I don't really ascribe loyalty to any character, as how many things can happen to one person in any given life?

Indisputably, the star of the space opera is a female named Ketheri.

She is tall, skinny, with light brown hair (in her elder days) as for most of her life, it was light yellow. She is a history and culture specialist, a military officer, and for the last 100 or so stories, an Admiral in the space navy she serves.

To me, she is as real as anyone. That is not to say I believe she is real, but I know her like I would know a real person. She has a distinct personality and I am comfortable writing about her. I created her almost 12 years ago while mopping the floor of the first store I worked in.

A long time ago, a girl was sweet on me. We were teenagers, but ew, I'm a small guy, I am not going to do it with a big girl. She used to call me every night. We'd talk about a lot of things but gosh, she was a drug counselor and described things I had never thought of before.

The things she told me gelled into how I developed Ketheri originally. She was an abandoned child who grew up in an alien orphanage. She went into the space navy to get away, but was into the club scene where she was introduced to drugs. She used an especially potent crystalline drug like a more powerful ecstasy.

She had her firstborn, a son, in that time, and two years later, at age 26, she overdosed almost fatally.

Her life was saved by naval doctors and she went through a brutal reform under another, earlier, star of my space opera. She grew to hate that person, and got away, establishing her own office dedicated to studying alien cultures and threats to their country.

A lot of things happened along the way. I cannot condense her post-reform life here, it's too long. She is of a race of people who live for a very long time.

She was killed at the beginning of her middle age, and thousands of years later, restored to life based on scan templates and advanced cell restoration. In the time after that she entered her elder days and became harder to write about. I didn't for most of 2009, focusing on Non-Serial Stories, but early this year, I returned to her.

I don't put her in physical situations so much anymore. She is too high up in military circles and she is not like old, but her spirit is. People don't age in my stories. They have cell regen treatments every so often. My own sadness leaches onto Ketheri.

I have future plans. I have never published my stories, mainly because I don't know where to begin in my serial space opera. I used to have a geocities site with many stories on it but I had no proof anyone read them. No interest.

I have two dedicated readers. They help me a lot.

In the future, I will write a far future battle between good and evil, and Ketheri was recruited for the 'good' side a while ago now. At one point, she will leave her human corporeality and join this crusade. I will publish those.

Ketheri is a brave fighter, wise commander, and experienced teacher. She occupies a place in my heart, my own character. She may fill in part of the guilt I feel in not having a great life.

Send me a message if you want to know more about her.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Belief

I used to be so certain that homosexuality was wrong. I am a student of anthropology. I believe in evolution and you know, it can only be a male-female copulation to generate new life. Unless you are a starfish or a certain few species of frog, then it ain't happening.

But really. Are we so sure that some part of our brains is not wired to get love where you find it? I feel no attraction to other guys. I don't even like being in the same room with them. It has to do with my Anxiety Disorder mostly but I don't like guys.

I am not so sure now. What is the sum total of love? The only girl I ever really loved was Jen, and she is hardly gf material. My heart does not recognize that and I still am heartbroken well over a year after we broke up over a trivial issue.

What if love drew a guy to another guy? I'm positive there is some underlying attraction to other guys. Is some facet of our subconscious programmed or does it come naturally? I think effeminate behavior in a guy is more of a personality thing. His attraction to other guys can't be so shallow.

People like different things. I use as an example, yogurt. I HATE yogurt. It all tastes bad. Yet, I know more than 20 people that like it. I tried it. I am prone to bacterial infections, the rural wasteland, y'know..., and am no stranger to antibiotics. Yes, it constipates. Constipation hurts but it me, tension pressure in my colon presses on my prostate and that hurts even worse. Probiotic yogurt can restore beneficial bacteria required for healthy digestion. Surely you've seen an Activia commercial. I have tasted yogurts in flavors I like, chocolate, coconut, apple, etc... and they all have the same bitter unpleasant taste that originally think the spoon I was using to eat it was dirty.

Maybe it is my overpowering sweet tooth. I love sweet things. This isn't good for my teeth nor can it be for my health. I don't like bitter things.

Why is that? Some people hate sweet things.

Maybe it is an underlying thing, kinda like attraction. What attracts me? Beautiful eyes, intelligence, cute breasts, booty, etc... I am attracted to women. The attraction is natural.

I am uncertain that attraction is locked on the opposite gender now. I saw a guy on youtube, Davey Wavey, I think he is cute. The analytical part of my mind was aghast. Ewww! I have NO wallpapers on my pc with guys in it. I subscribe to Penthouse, I have 18 porn dvds, all but 2 of them lacking a lesby scene. I love a well filmed lesby scene. Ninn is a master of that.

Arthelius is a naughty ghost. He does it with Marraka. Ew. Wookie sex.

This guy and I would not get along, I'm sure. I am not physical that much. I write or read most of the time. I am also cringed by the fact that a guy thinks any 'package' is cute. I think a penis is one of the ugliest body parts humans have. I know. I own a fine example of one but it would be better if it was fully retractable. Just my opinion.

I have been the victim of every prostate test they have. I have had things stuck in my peeny, and most often in a place I DO NOT LIKE things in. I also couldn't imagine sticking my peeny in anything but a hostile acidic vaginal hole made for it. It feels natural with a female. I cannot say what it feels like doing the other thing. I never have given/received it.

I certainly don't know if I could do the fellatio thing. I like getting it, but who doesn't? I would not even consider letting a guy do it. It bothers me on a natural level.

I don't have many guy friends. I don't have any gay friends. I wouldn't mind getting to know one. I want to understand this behavior, and if we all have the option for it.

Funny thing coming from Arthelius, who once lightsabered a male who kissed him on the cheek.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Poison

Let me comment first on Facebook. What an effing waste of time and web allocation. Who cares where you are going or wants to hear your proseltysing? I believe God and Jesus too but I don't force my beliefs on others. I wanted talk to my school friends but I am contacted by people who were never really my friends. Where are my friends? I ain't seen any of them in 17 years. What kind of friend is that? Eh, never mind. I don't like facebook. I never felt comfortable using it so I mention old Arthelius and Marraka, let them eat up that metaphysical SW soap opera.

They are on vacation at a sex resort on pre-Yuuzhan Vong War Kuat. I didn't mention that part, you know, they might think that I am a disturbed individual. Ha ha. I KNOW it isn't real. Do you believe anything you do is REAL? Wasting time on farmville? Ha! I played Sins of a Solar Empire and wiped the floor with pirates and my enemy in one huge battle. And guess who won. Queue 'I Stand Alone' by Godsmack. Bwahahaha!

Seriously, I don't give a rat's behind what you did today.

You know what I did? ITCH! I got into some poison sumac while doing an outdoor chore. I contact spread it to my left eyelid when I wiped sweat away, and further contact spread it to my peeny when I went to pee. I always have to go pee, it's a prostatitis thing. Itchy-itchy.

You ever take a cold shower when your core temperature is too warm? It's kinda blissful but something I'd never do in the wintertime, cold is usually painful to me but not when it was 103 outside today. I have red rashes on my knees and inside of my elbows. I suspect that I have one on my hiney too but I wore shorts (bad mistake) while doing those chores and my beloved posterior was covered.

I don't really dislike anyone. I just don't like insipid conversation. Talk about Quasars or how sorry it was when Anakin Solo bought it in that worldship over Myrkr. Not 'I was at the car lube place' or 'I scored a million points in a meaningless game'.

I have written thousands of stories. I continue to write. I have the knowing of a lot of different things. I am no genius but I can hold my own.

Oh, why couldn't Arthelius take me with him? Sorry bastard.