The problem with what ordinarily isn't a bad thing is that it causes me to have to pee more. The more I have to pee, the worse it hurts. It creates pressure on my prostate and makes the whole line sear like a lava flow.
If it gets too bad, peeing becomes difficult. I have to do it. I cannot hold it like I used to. I hate this, and I talk about it because you can see me, my pain isn't obvious. It always hurts.
I have been studying Akhenaten and his time, an intense fascination of mine. No matter how things really were, it becomes a fascinating look into a simple life that we should have, not the bs that we have now.
I cannot afford to see the doctor. I am loathe to take a tylenol just because my pelvic area hurts. It doesn't help all that much anyway. I only have so many tylenol tablets remaining, I can't afford to get more.
I hate money. Why should we suffer when we don't have it? Just like the Primaries in Az and Mi, a fucking waste of time, effort, and money.
Oh, I will return to writing stories again, soon. I am trawling for inspiration now.
I actually went outside, I can post a picture of me I took after I took some wicked pictures of the sky. I love the sky, the stars, clouds, the Moon, all of it. It is a spirit enriching thing to be out there, imagination stoked by elemental things.
I wish I could be disconnected from my body, like mind uploading. I could be free to wonder without the pain that distracts. I can't sit for more than 10 minutes at a time.
Also, I have noticed. I can't tell when I have to pee unless I stand up. I could sit here and not feel it at all. That cannot be good.
I was not stressed today, but my day ends at 6 or 7 am. I sleep in the daytime to limit contact with things like the abuse and stress.
I hate that. I have always been a morning person. I love the morning.
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