I am unable to understand anal sex. I am revolted by the thought of putting my most sensitive organ in a girl's backside. This is reinforced by the DRE's I have been receiving.
Now I know it is necessary as a diagnostic tool because the angry prostate is literally next door to the rectum. Then I get two today. I don't mind Dr. L. He does not hurt me. But Dr. H. OMG. I get not only a more forceful DRE, I get a prostate massage, which some urologists have written is not as good thing as once thought.
I have had a sexual reaction before, when in therapy for the Kegel exercise. The Kegel exercise works the muscle that ejects the seminal fluid from the body. The therapist told me so. And gosh, I did have the same fluid drip like today when Dr. H poked my prostate three times in a none too gentle way.
I did not ask for that. I can come on my own, thank you.
I feel terrible. I still hurt and now I have to leave work early to have an MRI. I get off at 8 pm every day.
I will not even try to do the m-thing for a few days. I feel distinctly unsexual, a rare thing in my life.
The water heater thermostat failure that occurred on tuesday makes that for certain. Ever take a cold shower? It isn't fun.
My feelings oscillate. Yes, I am still looking at Aug. 19th as the last day of my life. I don't know if I can make it even until then.
I sure don't feel like Arthelius now, who had crossed the great divide some time ago.
He would say, 'Isn't fun being spectral, even if I did it with Spectral Madonna.'
How typical, as in life. Too bad I'm not that way. I'd be more of a man than I am.
I do need mental help. I may use BCBS's own resources to find one. 'Have to', says Dr. H. 'Obama will render us unable to help people'.
I don't believe that. It cannot be the way of government to so infringe on basics of life. It violates the Constitution. If we were so split on stupid ideals, perhaps none of this would have happened.
Ideals, look at the idiots who voted against Judge Sotomayor. Why did they vote 'nay'? No party or ideal speaks for me, why for them?
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Oh, Me
I kinda forgot this place. It was a thing Arthelius learned the hard way. If there isn't something nice to say, then don't say it. That is why I refrain from updaing my blogs sometime. I mean, it isn't like people are clamoring for a new post. I doubt if anyone ever reads this blog.
My angry prostate is raging. I hurt. To distract myself, I am writing more. I also talk to friends through the IM. I have been severely upset by the closing of geocities and the impending deletion of my website. I have asked for it to be archived. No word on that yet.
I had set a date for my suicide, August 19th, 2009, the last day of a week vacation from that cesspit of greed, recently reconfigured for more greed and less satisfation among the chattel, oh, I mean, customers. I am uncertain now. I am not really of a depressed mind. I just feel bad physically. I have recurrent constipation related to dehydration. The hot weather is hurting all of us.
Constipation is a double edged knife in me. It hurts and adds pressure on my angry prostate, which is inconviently next-door to the descending colon (large intestine). Why are we so upset about our bodies? The prostate gland is a gland immediately below the urinary bladder in males. It surrounds the upper part of the urethra, and when swollen, can cut off urine flow. Because of its location and vents into the urethra, urine can backflow into it, usually when he holds off peeing too long, and bacteria therein cause an infection.
It may have been how my recurrent prostatitis got started. I no longer can hold off peeing, when I got to go, I got to then. Dehydration may be harming me. I dont drink enough water because peeing for me feels like a wire brush scraping the inside of my urinary tract.
What is the prostate's function? Simply put, it is the primary source of the major ingredient in seminal fluid. Forget the little guys swimming in it, there is more to it than them. The liquid suspention of the seminal fluid is made by the prostate. Without it, there is no semen.
I never thought about it until mine started this now 2-year-old problem. I have severely limited mastrubation because the after effect of actually using the prostate in the climax, makes it hurt more.
I can no longer tell what normal feels like. A dull ache is in my lower parts (inside, not outside). Whatever the trouble is, it has so far spared my peeny. That is a good thing because it is never a good thing when peeny hurts.
I feel better when I talk about it. I would like just one day of relaxing. I will on my vacation, and go to a lake I love. Feeling better isn't a matter of a vacation, it is being away from sources of trouble to my anxiety disorder afflicted mind.
Arthelius also would like to add, "Say, don't you remember when it was just a nice thing?"
Yes, once. Long ago.
My angry prostate is raging. I hurt. To distract myself, I am writing more. I also talk to friends through the IM. I have been severely upset by the closing of geocities and the impending deletion of my website. I have asked for it to be archived. No word on that yet.
I had set a date for my suicide, August 19th, 2009, the last day of a week vacation from that cesspit of greed, recently reconfigured for more greed and less satisfation among the chattel, oh, I mean, customers. I am uncertain now. I am not really of a depressed mind. I just feel bad physically. I have recurrent constipation related to dehydration. The hot weather is hurting all of us.
Constipation is a double edged knife in me. It hurts and adds pressure on my angry prostate, which is inconviently next-door to the descending colon (large intestine). Why are we so upset about our bodies? The prostate gland is a gland immediately below the urinary bladder in males. It surrounds the upper part of the urethra, and when swollen, can cut off urine flow. Because of its location and vents into the urethra, urine can backflow into it, usually when he holds off peeing too long, and bacteria therein cause an infection.
It may have been how my recurrent prostatitis got started. I no longer can hold off peeing, when I got to go, I got to then. Dehydration may be harming me. I dont drink enough water because peeing for me feels like a wire brush scraping the inside of my urinary tract.
What is the prostate's function? Simply put, it is the primary source of the major ingredient in seminal fluid. Forget the little guys swimming in it, there is more to it than them. The liquid suspention of the seminal fluid is made by the prostate. Without it, there is no semen.
I never thought about it until mine started this now 2-year-old problem. I have severely limited mastrubation because the after effect of actually using the prostate in the climax, makes it hurt more.
I can no longer tell what normal feels like. A dull ache is in my lower parts (inside, not outside). Whatever the trouble is, it has so far spared my peeny. That is a good thing because it is never a good thing when peeny hurts.
I feel better when I talk about it. I would like just one day of relaxing. I will on my vacation, and go to a lake I love. Feeling better isn't a matter of a vacation, it is being away from sources of trouble to my anxiety disorder afflicted mind.
Arthelius also would like to add, "Say, don't you remember when it was just a nice thing?"
Yes, once. Long ago.