Manic Feeling

I do get manic at times. This usually comes if I do not take my Celexa-clone. I have gone without it for 2 and a half days. This is the fault of the wm pharmacy I use. It was 'out' of it. How does a pharmacy run out of a such helpful and needed medication??

I am trying to write a story but I can't concentrate on it. I feel sleepy but I'm not sleepy.

I fear the upcoming days as it will be unrelentlessly sunny. UV streaming down and scorching the skins of pasty white people like me. I will simply go mad and get into the car and drive home without clocking out if I burn again in the sun.

I was unable to find a suitable hat to wear. I feel stupid wearing a hat. I have never had to wear a hat in any job I've had. Of course, I never worked outside like a common laborer. That means no disrepect to those who do agriculture or work on the highway. It's just I'm too stupid to do anything like that.

I wish I was Arthelius for real. He has no trouble getting love, or doing good, or being loved.

You don't see a message from my girlfriend on here. She never reads anything I write. That is hurtful and I tell her but she doesn't care. She doesn't care much about me at all. Why can't I just forget about her? I can't. If she doesn't love me, I love her.

It doesn't do much good.

My stupid body is in the general decline of life. I am 32 years old. While some say, "why, that's young..." It is not true. My prostatitis has taught me that I'm not much of a male at all.

Jen could change that. She won't even consider it.

It upsets me into thinking she doesn't love me. Is that wrong? Tell me, what relationship that is a year and four months old remains the same as it was when it began?

Mania does that to me. It is hard to get by on days like that. I just watch tv. That isn't good either.

I feel even more violated than I did when Dr. L did the DRE on me. Dr. E's DRE hurt a lot more. I don't fault Dr. E. He is older and more experienced than Dr. L. He is likely used to men who don't want a finger in their tail hole. I am like them. I DO NOT like it in the least.

And now, on Tuesday next, my rest day, I have to get a sonogram of my troublesome left testicle. What will that be like? Trust my peeny to embarrass me. It almost did with Dr. E.

This KY Yours and Mine thing. Grrrr. I first saw it in a display in the local Walgreens. Now tv commercials for it. If sex is such a basic part of human life, why does Jen seem oblivious to its benefits and resists any thought of it? And I thought I had problems. At least I do the m-thing and admit to it.

I'll be lucky if I don't hurt myself before the Celexa-clone reasserts its protection.