Better (For Now)

I must admit, that my job in the GC is way less stressful than my old job in Grocery. Now that I use sun protection, I rather enjoy being outside but the need for gloves to protect my ever overused hands is intense and will be remedied when cash flow surges with the next paycheck.

I feel all right except the nagging and sometimes intense pain in my prostate area and the worry that this situation with my left testicle will turn out to be something horrible. I mean, whatever it is in there, it hurts to touch it and the testicle itself feels very much more sensitive than the normal, perfect right testicle. If I could post a pic of my scrotum, you could see the difference in them, but alas, pruditity reigns in this sad excuse for a society we live in.

This is not a sexual situation. Yes, sex organs are involved but those same sex organs are rarely considered except when I am bored or stimulated (which is random). I never feel that way at work or when with friends. With Jen.... I will not say.

I do feel better. I mean, the Celexa-clone saves me from the abyss. So what if I am dependent on it? It is not something that is about addiction. It is about preservation.

I will never be rid of my anxiety. It is a basic trait of my personality.

I may not have to do anything tomorrow. That will be nice. I do need to sleep more.

I'm better when I can be Arthelius. It's quite all right. Beats being the wm minion, which I am for most of the week.