Better?

I finally went and no dia-icky. No, instead, I must have lost 5 pounds. Yet again, my body lets it build up and ....

This REALLY hurt my prostate, I could feel it being crushed as I tensed in that reflex. Prostatic fluid was present, just like when Dr. H squished on it, the so-called 'prostatic massage'. I would rather step on a nail barefooted.

I shouldn't talk about digestive issues, I mean, it was funny but it went on too long. I don't like to poo but it is part of life for anything with a digestive system.

It has been too hot. My headphones (Skullcandy Hesh 2) have been sticking to my sweaty head. I have not been listening to my music and that irritates my soul.

Ants and mosquitoes too. You know how I hate cold weather but it would be welcome now to curb these fucking insects. My pasty skin marred by red bite marks from ants. Pick a part on me and I have been stung there. Yes, even there.

I am looking at a Nokia Windows phone. I mean I hate Windows 8 a lot but I learned to use it. Those freaking tiles...

Just so you know, it is a Go Phone. I have used Go Phone for many years now. It works better for me.

Maybe No Sugar

It occurs to me that sugar is not possibly the wisest thing. It is why I weigh 164 lbs and why my teeth need help.

So I get tea with an artificial sweetener in it. I learned a valuable lesson after using too much. I haven't had dia-icky since I wrote about it last time. But I did in a majorly painful way.

That hurts, not because dia-icky itself hurts and is always unpleasant, it causes pelvic muscles to clench and squeeze my prostate which hurts like nothing else.

Maybe I will lose weight. I would if I got off my tail and exercised but can't do it here, the environment isn't conducive for it. I would have to go to a gym and learn from someone who knows more than me about such things what to do.

I would like to learn to swim as well. Never learned how.

What a thing, to be in swim trunks and having pale skin and a belly. My anxiety keeps me in because of this.

I haven't been swimming since I was a teenager. I haven't done a lot of things since I was a teenager. That was almost 20 years ago. What can I do now?

I will cut down on the sugar. I will also try to eat better. I will try to avoid dia-icky as well because it hurts. It already hurts to pee, can't do anything about that.

Ha ha, tmi perhaps but that is how things are. How does sugar affect you? I know people who avoid it like the plague.

Myself, got to have it.

Poo

Not interested in the weather, or tropical storms? How about this post?

Everybody goes to the bathroom. If you have a digestive system, you have to go every so often. This is regularity if you are healthy.

I am not regular myself. My body apparently likes to wait for things to build up and release it all at once. I am no stranger to constipation.

That aphorism, if you eat crap, you get crap, is so true. I am sick of eating beef. I can't avoid it, it is like not having a control over my diet because I cannot afford to get different things for each family member.

I tend to have a lot when eating potatoes, bread, pasta, things that are supposed to be good for you. I eat a granola bar every day when I wake up. I drink a pepsi as well but maybe that is not a good idea. My body doesn't like soda so much anymore and something in them hurts my prostate like the urologists said it would.

I don't like poo. It hurts to go for me. I don't use tp mostly as I go before I take a shower. I use water to clean up. I am very particular about being clean there as I used to not care when I was younger. I can't imagine being like that now.

I think if you can't talk about it, you have issues of your own. Think about that the next time you poo.

Different Shave

I did this to amuse you. But also, I mentioned a few months ago that I have Low T and am at risk for gynecomastia, or so said the doctor who did these tests.

That was last November. Here it is springtime already of the next year and things really haven't changed. I mean, do I want male boobs? NO. None of this stupid risks. You see commercials on tv where testosterone supplements can kill your ass. Cardiovascular disease is prevalent in my family. Why provoke it?

I don't think my body will be feminized. I mean, why do I have to shave my chest and abdomen? Yes, pubic as well but I can't post that Shave Check image.

I shave these parts because I hate being a hairy beast. I hate my ghostly white skin being marred by this stupid terminal hair that has no function at all.

Shaving it off is not only asthetic, it allows skin to dry faster after a shower. It feels nice, like a shirt in direct contact with skin.

I didn't really grow this kind of terminal hair until my late 20's. I wish I never did.

So here is my chest check image. I did shave my face but this is a different part of me rarely seen.

Body Pain

I mentioned some months ago that I had a DNA test done. This mainly was for health reasons and #1 risk on it is Gout.

My grandmother was stricken with RA. She succumbed to death at a relatively early age from Lupus. I was 11 when she died.

Did I inherit arthritis risk from her? I have the same blue eyes she did, pale skin. I mean, family traits. I miss her most out of all my departed family members.

Sometimes, a pulse of pain will run through my legs. My knees hurt for no reason sometimes. Nothing hurts worse than my hips when they hurt.

My feet hurt a lot for a few minutes and then it fades. My hands hurt sometimes.

I have never hurt my back, nor have I ever been seriously injured.
Are these pains something my body is telling me? Or is it a harbinger of the future?

The pain in my pelvic area is ever present. I can tune it out unless it burns, which it does sometimes. My prostate pain will get worse as I age and get BPH. I could be at risk for prostate cancer but it is not likely given the tests that I have endured said that I am not.

Then my gonads hurt sometimes. This is a feedback pain from my prostate gland. They are all connected.

Stupid male bs. I hate the whole thing, ugly thing. I ought to post a picture of my accursed male parts.

These pains do not last for very long. They come and go. I mean, Tylenol does work on me. I hate taking medicine but will if I have to.

It might be just aging. I don't know. If I was more active, probably these pains would not happen. But agoraphobia keeps me inside and I can't go out and be active.

A vicious circle, mental pain affects physical pain.

Dia-Icky

Err... an uncomfortable subject. It happens to all of us. Many things cause it. In my case at the moment it is the over-chlorinated tap water used to make my tea and bathe in and whatever else.

I have a hard time spelling diarrhea. Had to do spellcheck to get that right, for an example.

I know it as dia-icky and it is icky. Try cleaning up from it.

This causes a pressure build in my colon that presses on my irritable prostate gland. Oh, fuck does that hurt. It feels like being stabbed there. My prostate gland is damaged, too sensitive and hurts all the time. Stress did that to it. I avoid stress in my life now but the damage is done.

I cannot hold it when it hits me, I HAVE TO GO. Not a problem since I spend most, if not all, of my time sitting here. The bathroom is just a few steps away.

Gut clenches, that HURTS. Muscles contract and squeeze on my prostate. How it got damaged in the first place. It hurts worse than it did when this began to be sure but it is a pain I have grown used to.

Dia-icky is dangerous because it lessens the hydration level of your body. I seem not to have a problem with that as I have to pee every 15 minutes or so.

I don't know if the over-chlorinated water is harming us in any other way. It is stupid, the water company.

Does this post bother you? Think of dia-icky the next time it happens to you. Maybe my word for it would amuse you in this unpleasant time.

Personal Concern

This post concerns my genitals, so you may not want to read it.


I have talked about the m-thing before. I do it usually every 2 days because it hurts my prostate. However, as Dr. H said, I have to do it to clear the prostate or else I get a bacterial infection and those are never good.

So, starting about two weeks ago, as I was excited, I noticed a swollen blood vessel, nerve or some other tube like thing that hurts to touch on the left side and underside of my peena. This worries me, considering the previous post.

Some might say doing the m-thing caused it. But if that was the case, why is it happening now? I have done the m-thing since I was a teenager.

If I had a girlfriend, I wouldn't have to do the m-thing. Just saying.

This swollen nerve like thing in my peena inhibits erections. I can but it fades quickly as this thing hurts.
I'm sorry if this is tmi but this is my blog. I will go to the doctor on Friday assuming this thing doesn't go away. I have to know what it is. I told you before, I don't like to be conscious of my peena and I am because this thing hurts. Stings if I lay on it like I am face down in bed, which I don't sleep like that. I am a side sleeper.

Add to that the ever present pain in my prostate and the whole pelvic region hurts. I suppose it is nothing new, if you read the early parts of this blog.

Nudity

Are you shy about your body?

Do you hide your parts if you are naked and someone walks in on you?

I'm not, with the exception of an erection. See, when I had all those urinary tests, my male part was stuck with needles, had a sensor taped to it, I had an ultrasound on my scrotum. Also, there was that inter-urinary camera.

I came to feel like, hey, I have a peena, big deal. All males have one.

I don't have a bad one. It was liked by by ex-girlfriends, excluding Jen. I am more self-conscious of my belly. I don't exercise as I should. My muscle definition isn't what it once was. That is not saying that I'm pudgy, I'm not.

I am also kinda self-conscious because I have pale skin, I mean, sun-starved white skin. And body hair, you know, I am male after all.

I can talk about my body because I am not shy like that. Only a prudish person would not talk of it.

I wrote this post to tease you. I find it insulting that people look at this blog and don't leave a comment or at least say 'hi'.