Misandry

I have to admit something. A large part of my anxiety disorder was affected by a natural sense of misandry. What is misandry? It is the antonym of misogyny. I am not a misogynist. Yes, I have been hurt by a couple of females but in general they are not bad people.

I have never really associated with other boys. Could be that I am a beta male. Could be that I don't care. I admit that I do not like them but to go as far as throwing rocks at them? Why provoke an animal sense of return-vengeance?

I have a few male friends. I do not care to go see them. We talk through the net. My only real true friend is a female older than me in Ca.

In my stories, for most of them, I have female characters. I can write about male characters but like the young gender-confused thief, Linis Enkisa, I destroyed his masculinity and used body change technology to change him into Lin.

Why hate other males? Why not? Cheaters, liars, arrogance, competitive, stupid, and most of all, violent.

The last boy that hit me, in 1992, broke his hand doing so. This ghost has good bones :)

I get angry like any guy, I am not effiminate, though have been accused of being in the past.

Customers at wm often mistook me for a girl. I do not know why? Am I not guy enough? Do I even want to be?

Yes, I have a penis. Yes, I like guy things. Yes, I am totally male.

However, if you gave me a choice like Lin got, I would lose all of it.

I hate body hair. I hate facial hair. I hate my prostate gland. Err, a pulse of pain when I typed that. F*ck you, prostate.

CNN right now is talking about the SF Giants fan almost beaten to death by LA Dodgers fan. Who do you think did this? Beaten horribly because of a like of a sports team. That is so freaking stupid. Sensless. I hope the police brutalize the offenders.

I have no trouble associating with females. I have many as friends. Nothing in the Universe is more beatiful than a cute woman.

Look at the array of ugliness in pictures of males all over the net.

What snapped for me, was just last week. Arnold, an icon of film, governor of Ca, how could he do that to Maria? I will still like him as an actor but not a person. He only cements my misandry.

I an poor in spirit, I know. I have mentioned suicide more than once since 2008. If I don't kill myself at any time for the rest of my life, I will be surprised.

This can be stopped if I got some self-worth and love. Where can I find it? Females.

Enough said.