Monday, April 14, 2008

Simple? Not At All

My pain moderates, comes and goes. My testicle is still swollen and there is blood in my pee. Tell me that something is not wrong. I went into panic mode when I saw that blood. I went and told my manager (only known as R here) and she said that is bad but did not offer any compassion or to let me go.

The last four times I have peed, the blood has faded away, but is still there. I have come to dread urinating. It is shockingly yellow and tinted red-orange. This is because of Phenazopyrid, a urinary painkiller that the ER doc precribed for me. The blood is because of ??? I am being sent to an urologist by my regular doc.

I cannot do the M-thing. The secretions involved are all tinted this disturbing yellow color. Besides that, my scrotum hurts on the left side (even now as I sit here). Think my employers care? Like Matt says. They don't care if you live or die.

My friend Devin had a heart condition. He was like 21 years old. Last year, he collapsed and died right behind the meat market cooler door. What did they do? Nothing. They posted a picture of him and made little ribbons.

The people I have come to absolutely despise did nothing and they are in charge.

What if I am redered sterile by this? Unlikely. There is nothing wrong with my right testicle. A darker prospect is prostate cancer. My maternal grandfather died of it. But I will ask the doctor about that.

Why shouldn't I be sad? Why did this happen?

I am off for the next 2 days. Maybe it'll be better as the meds take effect.

I imagine I will nap a lot. Seems that I do that more often these days.

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