Belief

I used to be so certain that homosexuality was wrong. I am a student of anthropology. I believe in evolution and you know, it can only be a male-female copulation to generate new life. Unless you are a starfish or a certain few species of frog, then it ain't happening.

But really. Are we so sure that some part of our brains is not wired to get love where you find it? I feel no attraction to other guys. I don't even like being in the same room with them. It has to do with my Anxiety Disorder mostly but I don't like guys.

I am not so sure now. What is the sum total of love? The only girl I ever really loved was Jen, and she is hardly gf material. My heart does not recognize that and I still am heartbroken well over a year after we broke up over a trivial issue.

What if love drew a guy to another guy? I'm positive there is some underlying attraction to other guys. Is some facet of our subconscious programmed or does it come naturally? I think effeminate behavior in a guy is more of a personality thing. His attraction to other guys can't be so shallow.

People like different things. I use as an example, yogurt. I HATE yogurt. It all tastes bad. Yet, I know more than 20 people that like it. I tried it. I am prone to bacterial infections, the rural wasteland, y'know..., and am no stranger to antibiotics. Yes, it constipates. Constipation hurts but it me, tension pressure in my colon presses on my prostate and that hurts even worse. Probiotic yogurt can restore beneficial bacteria required for healthy digestion. Surely you've seen an Activia commercial. I have tasted yogurts in flavors I like, chocolate, coconut, apple, etc... and they all have the same bitter unpleasant taste that originally think the spoon I was using to eat it was dirty.

Maybe it is my overpowering sweet tooth. I love sweet things. This isn't good for my teeth nor can it be for my health. I don't like bitter things.

Why is that? Some people hate sweet things.

Maybe it is an underlying thing, kinda like attraction. What attracts me? Beautiful eyes, intelligence, cute breasts, booty, etc... I am attracted to women. The attraction is natural.

I am uncertain that attraction is locked on the opposite gender now. I saw a guy on youtube, Davey Wavey, I think he is cute. The analytical part of my mind was aghast. Ewww! I have NO wallpapers on my pc with guys in it. I subscribe to Penthouse, I have 18 porn dvds, all but 2 of them lacking a lesby scene. I love a well filmed lesby scene. Ninn is a master of that.

Arthelius is a naughty ghost. He does it with Marraka. Ew. Wookie sex.

This guy and I would not get along, I'm sure. I am not physical that much. I write or read most of the time. I am also cringed by the fact that a guy thinks any 'package' is cute. I think a penis is one of the ugliest body parts humans have. I know. I own a fine example of one but it would be better if it was fully retractable. Just my opinion.

I have been the victim of every prostate test they have. I have had things stuck in my peeny, and most often in a place I DO NOT LIKE things in. I also couldn't imagine sticking my peeny in anything but a hostile acidic vaginal hole made for it. It feels natural with a female. I cannot say what it feels like doing the other thing. I never have given/received it.

I certainly don't know if I could do the fellatio thing. I like getting it, but who doesn't? I would not even consider letting a guy do it. It bothers me on a natural level.

I don't have many guy friends. I don't have any gay friends. I wouldn't mind getting to know one. I want to understand this behavior, and if we all have the option for it.

Funny thing coming from Arthelius, who once lightsabered a male who kissed him on the cheek.