Naughty Me

I drove like 85 mph in fog. Genius? Naw, it's like everything else about that area, too fast and too stupid.

I will admit that I like porn. I love lesbian porn. I like simple sex, not hurting the female or dirty talking. I don't understand anal sex, that I could not do it but others apparently can.

A female who can project fluid from her nether area, now that will excite my thing, even when it hurts.

I usually don't like Playboy. I like Club mainly, but the Playboy TV Channel rules. It is not like Ten or Spice, or eww, Hustler TV. It doesn't show male climax or the sometimes brutalty of hardcore porn.

Sex can be 2 things. Simple biology, an impression I get when I am with a female, or genuine trust and love. It is always trust. The female has a heavier investment being that it is a usually thick slab of hydraulic flesh and cartilage being put in her body.

No matter what you think of your penis, it is NOT SPECIAL. You were spared the vaguest chance of even having one, if your Y-Chromosome did not kick in in the first weeks of gestation.

I will admit that I do the m-thing. It helps clear an angry prostate. I do not like seminal fuid. It is sticky and smells funny. I have made more than my share of it in the time my body started making it, long ago, about 1990.

I don't get any on me, and Germ-X my hands after.

Why do I share this aspect of my broken sexuality? It is one part of human life. We are bound by nature to share in the progression of our species. Why else do you think a pleasurable orgasm evolved? To make us have children.

I feel like my chance to have children is diminishing. I do not know if I can perform in a sexual act now. When it hurts, it is always inhibitive.

I do so dearly wish one female trusted me to try and see if it still works. It is not an easy thing to ask. The longer I go without it, maybe I wasn't cut out to male after all. Why did it take 33 years to realize that?

Arthelius. who never had trouble in that department, witholds comment.

Angry Peeny

Why is it angry? When I woke up this morning, it was in its excited state, as is normal when a guy wakes up. Though nocturnal erections are involuntary, some kind of nervous system calibration or something, it can be inconvenient. Like when one has to pee. That was common when I was a teenager.

It is angry because this morning, I guess it was adjusted wrong. You see, the first nocturnal erection, at least in my case, comes when sleep begins. If wearing briefs, as I feel more comfortable in, it can be constricted. If you have ever came into contact with an erect peeny, you know the thing is rock solid. It will bend if in the normal 'down' position, yet continues to stiffen. This can cause it to bend very uncomfortably.

I usually always pull my peeny up before going to sleep but I don't remember doing that last night. It was constricted all night. When I woke up, there were impressions in the glans of my peeny from the stitching on the Hanes white briefs I wore last night. It was sore and it was iffy to pee and then in my morning shower it felt sore.

The feeling faded in the 20 minutes I spent naked this morning. KMA if you think that is bad or pervy of me. It is not.

My peeny never really recovered from the day last August when a burly male nurse cracked jokes as he inserted a camera probe into my peeny, which went up the urethra to the bladder.

I don't think it is physically changed other than maybe a slightly more open urethra and exit (the hole where urine/semen comes out).

My peeny looks fine now. It should, it got a dose of Cetaphil and Aveeno body wash. It is a good thing. I have a fine peeny. It isn't sick or injured, and is as good as it was when I was a teenager.

It is angry because the last three attempts at the m-thing have failed. that is brain's fault as it gets distracted. I will try in the morning to see if that can be remedied.

It is also angry because it waits for Jen. It is soooo ready for her.

Know this, peeny doesn't have a mind of its own. It is an appendage, no more a thinking thing than a hand or foot. Don't believe any guy that says he thinks with his. My peeny is better than a lot of them. Mine is circumcised. It is of fine proportion and length. It is pinkish and matches the color of my skin. Pasty? Not quite.

Why did I write about this? TMI? No, I am showing that I am not ashamed of my body. I am comfortable discussing this rather overrated part of a male body. If we did not make a big deal over it, then it would not be such a hang up.

I will consider entering into a peeny contest online when one becomes available.

Arthelius and I are the same person/Force spirit. We have identical parts. Why was he loved so and continues to be despite the spectral nature of his peeny?

My vacation starts today. 6 days away from wm. See if I set foot anywhere near it.

I should feel a lot better in a couple of days. Peeny will relax and just retract. It make look small when so but it isn't.

It actually feels better like that. I am most comfortable when it is at that mid stage between retracted and the onset of an erection.

If we cannot write about ourselves, what is the point of a weblog? Don't read it if it bothers you.

Thanks to those that do.

Upset

I don 't usually get upset easy. My med takes this unpleasant aspect of being human and chills it.
But when I cannot find something, it appears. I have torn apart my room looking for a cd and discovered a huge mess that I have to clean up. That is upsetting too.

I am upset that I was so intent on finding this cd, that I remained in my underwear after my night shower and I still am. I am wearing black Hanes boxer briefs and my peeny protrudes from them. That is another upsetting thing. If I am doomed to live a sexless existence, why the hell do I have one?

I did not find that cd and I feel icky inside from the upset. I'll chill.

I kinda like me in underwear. My peeny is nothing to be ashamed of. My testicles are like any other, I reckon since there isn't much variation in them among males. I have never read that there is. I despise even looking at other males but I learn more to know more about myself.

I am listening to Deep Forest III Comparsa, a cd that was welcome tropicality on cold winter nights 10 years ago when I drove to work overnight.

I do not particularly like this laptop I'm using. I miss my regular pc but it may take days yet for repair. Its power supply has failed, the second such in one year of owning it. That upsets me too.

I guess it is just the way things are.

My life won't be sexless. Jen understands this is inevitable. I will help her appreciate it better.

Arthelius was quite the sex man when he wasn't a ghost. Now, though, his spectral peeny can't penetrate beyond his robes. I wonder if it will be the same for me when I am a ghost.