Something I do not understand. Not having time to write an e~mail or a fb message. It takes usually no more than a few minutes.
Everyone is so busy all 24 hours of the day. It seems that they never have the time to do anything related to their own being, you know, like friendships.
My days are usually the same. I wake up, I turn on the pc and I write and listen to music. Occasionally, I have to do other stuff but it usually doesn't take up much time. I mean, I cook dinner most nights. I take out the trash, I do other stuff, it doesn't take all day to do that.
EVEN when I did have a job and worked at wm, I had time to answer messages and check things.
Now that I have too much time, I am stuck in a void. I have a life you could not deal with. Agoraphobia manifests in me in keeping me inside all day. I am a virtual prisoner some days, my own feeling keeping me in here.
This room isn't what it used to be. The floor is collapsing. There is an epic mess in here that will take days to clean up. I don't do it because of some kind of mental thing related to my mental illness. I can look at this pragmatically and know something is wrong but have no will to fix it.
The internet is my only social contact. It will likely be this way for the rest of my life. How sad is that?
While you are busy, I am here, sitting in my chair, trying to write.
I typically sleep from 5 or 6 am to 2 or 3 pm. On sundays, I have to wait until 630 am to go to sleep, the Fox's PSA's play at 6 am and I cannot sleep to people talking about some inane social event or whatever is going on at Ft Hood that has nothing to do with civilians.
Why do I sleep during the best part of the day (morning)? I really have no idea. I like the overnight.
It's only right for a ghost to like the night, you know.
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