It is why I did not commit suicide and continue not to do that irrevocable action.
It is what assures me that things make sense.
It is belief. I believe in God. It is impossible not to and make sense of things.
Nothing just happens, that violates causality.
What is the causality behind my mental trouble? Is it brain chemistry or heredity or what? I hit my head on a concrete porch when I was a kid and had a concussion. I was out for three hours. How did that affect me?
I don't talk about my beliefs. It is a sure way to cause an argument and my life experience tells me not to cause a conflict, which can ruffle my anxiety feathers something fierce.
Other people are the primary factor that ruffles my anxiety feathers. How can a social creature exist if he cannot deal with other people?
I try not to have questions, they can lead to a very dark place that hurts. I am not in the dark place, I am trying to feel better.
But then, if other people intrude, that dark place can return.
Belief is strong but pain is stronger. I don't want pain. So I stay inside, away from other people.
I like being a ghost. I wish it were not so but that is how it is. Okay, enough about this.
I will talk about something else later. It seems that posts about bodily functions are popular. Why is that?
Other people.... smh.
Showing posts with label belief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label belief. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Animals
I am not so big on animals. I mean, we are all children of the planet. Unless you believe the Lavos theory put forth in the Chrono Trigger/Cross story.
My favorite animal is the cheetah. Why? I like cats, yes, but this cat is ideally suited for what it does, carved by evolution for this purpose. Yes, the cheetah affirms belief in evolution. Its spotted yellow hide is cool as well.
I have another favorite animal. I saw one in the SA Zoo when I was a kid. The sad tale of the polar bear. As human activity fucks up the planet's hydrological and climate systems, the arctic thaws more every year. This beast, an ideal predator, is losing territory. They aren't fit for life on the open sea nor where it is warm. The poor polar bears may be gone when I am elderly.
I like their white fur, ultraviolet absorbing dark skin, their claws and bears are cool to look at. Another creature shaped by evolution to adapt to its environment.
I will talk about GMO food and the like later.
My favorite animal is the cheetah. Why? I like cats, yes, but this cat is ideally suited for what it does, carved by evolution for this purpose. Yes, the cheetah affirms belief in evolution. Its spotted yellow hide is cool as well.
I have another favorite animal. I saw one in the SA Zoo when I was a kid. The sad tale of the polar bear. As human activity fucks up the planet's hydrological and climate systems, the arctic thaws more every year. This beast, an ideal predator, is losing territory. They aren't fit for life on the open sea nor where it is warm. The poor polar bears may be gone when I am elderly.
I like their white fur, ultraviolet absorbing dark skin, their claws and bears are cool to look at. Another creature shaped by evolution to adapt to its environment.
I will talk about GMO food and the like later.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Shutdown
Let me preface this by admitting that I am of the Democratic persuasion.
What is it with ideology? Are they loyal to it or the Constitution the swore to uphold? If they were like this truly, then they are traitors to the United States.
Who are 'they'? They are these tea party filth infecting the Congress. Any party that advocates stripping rights, benefits, and vitals from the public should be tarred and feathered and set on fire. Sadly, that is not acceptable in our society.
Why is the government shut down? Arcane rules set forth more than 225 years ago? Yes, those rules protect us and our freedom and should be upheld to the highest standard. This factionalism is anti-Constitution. I do not know what to say about it, the last time this happened, I was a young adult.
I have always admired President Clinton despite his personal mistakes. He could pull us out of this mess.
What would President Theodore Roosevelt have done? Would someone go back in time 115 years and get him? We could use his help.
Nobody in Congress is innocent. Those without spines are as complicit as this douchebag Cruz who is not Texan. I am Texan, I did not hear of him until he ran for office. Yes, our state government is plagued by similar douchebags but their time is ending. Texas will be Democratic again, like it was for the last 130 years before W. Fairweather voters go with who is popular. This is dangerous.
Having an R by your name ought to mean that you are socially and intellectually retarded.
Not all Republicans are bad. Those who are not are a pale handful compared to the tide of filth infecting the House of Representatives.
I may hate conservatism but I see the need for duality in any decision. Extremes in either direction are dangerous and should not be allowed to run for office.
How do you properly vet someone to expose extremism and intolerance?
I have no more to say on the matter. I am ashamed to be an American because of this shutdown.
What is it with ideology? Are they loyal to it or the Constitution the swore to uphold? If they were like this truly, then they are traitors to the United States.
Who are 'they'? They are these tea party filth infecting the Congress. Any party that advocates stripping rights, benefits, and vitals from the public should be tarred and feathered and set on fire. Sadly, that is not acceptable in our society.
Why is the government shut down? Arcane rules set forth more than 225 years ago? Yes, those rules protect us and our freedom and should be upheld to the highest standard. This factionalism is anti-Constitution. I do not know what to say about it, the last time this happened, I was a young adult.
I have always admired President Clinton despite his personal mistakes. He could pull us out of this mess.
What would President Theodore Roosevelt have done? Would someone go back in time 115 years and get him? We could use his help.
Nobody in Congress is innocent. Those without spines are as complicit as this douchebag Cruz who is not Texan. I am Texan, I did not hear of him until he ran for office. Yes, our state government is plagued by similar douchebags but their time is ending. Texas will be Democratic again, like it was for the last 130 years before W. Fairweather voters go with who is popular. This is dangerous.
Having an R by your name ought to mean that you are socially and intellectually retarded.
Not all Republicans are bad. Those who are not are a pale handful compared to the tide of filth infecting the House of Representatives.
I may hate conservatism but I see the need for duality in any decision. Extremes in either direction are dangerous and should not be allowed to run for office.
How do you properly vet someone to expose extremism and intolerance?
I have no more to say on the matter. I am ashamed to be an American because of this shutdown.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A Horrible Thought
Everyone knows who Stephen Hawiking is, right? He is an extremely disabled British phycisist. Likely the smartest human alive. He rivals Einstein in his theories and quest for Grand Unification in Physics. I do not know if there is a Grand Unified between the Weak and Strong and Electromagnetic and Gavity forces. The search for the famous Higgs boson is related to the Unification theory.
However, the UK newspaper The Guardian, interviewed Professor Hawking and what he said is truly shocking.
He said that God and belief in an afterlife is a "fairy story".
If so, what does it matter if I kill myself? It would actually benefit the earth, having one less human.
No, I cannot accept this. The Universe just didn't happen. What happened before the Big Bang? And if it is eternal and cyclical, there had to be a beginning somewhere.
I do not believe the Genesis story. The earth formed over the course of billions of years. The sun just didn't spontaneously appear. We see stars being born all over space. Look up the Orion Nebula if you want to see that. Look up the star Folmahaut to see its dust disk from which planets form.
Testing done on asteroid material, meteorites, moon rocks, and comet particles captired by Stardust, show that the Solar System is 4.5 billion years old. It has another 4 or so billion years until the Sun bloats, startintg the slow death common to all stars its size.
Nothing here is eternal. Nothing really matters in the light of such knowledge.
I believe in God. My faith is that everything makes sense somehow. I do not know why we have the problems we do. It is human failures that led us to the problems we have. Communism, greed, apathy, consumerism, all of it, they are human failures.
If you study anthropology, then you see that we have not been here for very long. Homo sapiens have been around a fraction of the time Homo erectus was.
All other hominids are extinct. What does that tell you? Maybe our path away from apelike ancestors is a rocky one.
We exist only because nothing bad like an airbourne H1N1 influenza has not evolved. Or because a huge asterioid, or worse, a comet, has not hit the earth. Or because there has not been a stratovolcano like Yellowstone eruption in a long time.
There is evidence that the Toba eruption 30,000 years ago almost wiped humans off the face of the earth. DNA science proves that something did. We are all not even a fraction of a difference in DNA. Just enough to be different in skin and eyes and height and hair and build, and tolerances. These are all familial traits.
The first true human came about in an Ice Age. It is not even clear that he or she lived in the Pleistocene, we are Holocene creatures.
I muddle through a daily sense of shame, self-depreciation, and anxiety. Nothing can trigger my anxiety, it comes on its own.
If Stephen Hawking is right, then nothing matters.
But I do not and cannot believe that.
I believe in angels, I believe in Jesus. I believe in Salvation. I believe that this will all work out.
But be clear, Atenism possibly influenced ancient Jewish people, the people who wrote the Old Testament. Aten was a sun god worshipped by the Pharoh Amenhotep IV, who changed his name to Akhenaten. This created a huge dischord in Ancient Egypt and he became the most reviled of all ancient kings.
The idea of the Sun giving us life is a beautiful expression of a basic truth. We would not be here without the Sun.
The true story may never be known.
You can see the interview at http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/may/15/stephen-hawking-interview-there-is-no-heaven
However, the UK newspaper The Guardian, interviewed Professor Hawking and what he said is truly shocking.
He said that God and belief in an afterlife is a "fairy story".
If so, what does it matter if I kill myself? It would actually benefit the earth, having one less human.
No, I cannot accept this. The Universe just didn't happen. What happened before the Big Bang? And if it is eternal and cyclical, there had to be a beginning somewhere.
I do not believe the Genesis story. The earth formed over the course of billions of years. The sun just didn't spontaneously appear. We see stars being born all over space. Look up the Orion Nebula if you want to see that. Look up the star Folmahaut to see its dust disk from which planets form.
Testing done on asteroid material, meteorites, moon rocks, and comet particles captired by Stardust, show that the Solar System is 4.5 billion years old. It has another 4 or so billion years until the Sun bloats, startintg the slow death common to all stars its size.
Nothing here is eternal. Nothing really matters in the light of such knowledge.
I believe in God. My faith is that everything makes sense somehow. I do not know why we have the problems we do. It is human failures that led us to the problems we have. Communism, greed, apathy, consumerism, all of it, they are human failures.
If you study anthropology, then you see that we have not been here for very long. Homo sapiens have been around a fraction of the time Homo erectus was.
All other hominids are extinct. What does that tell you? Maybe our path away from apelike ancestors is a rocky one.
We exist only because nothing bad like an airbourne H1N1 influenza has not evolved. Or because a huge asterioid, or worse, a comet, has not hit the earth. Or because there has not been a stratovolcano like Yellowstone eruption in a long time.
There is evidence that the Toba eruption 30,000 years ago almost wiped humans off the face of the earth. DNA science proves that something did. We are all not even a fraction of a difference in DNA. Just enough to be different in skin and eyes and height and hair and build, and tolerances. These are all familial traits.
The first true human came about in an Ice Age. It is not even clear that he or she lived in the Pleistocene, we are Holocene creatures.
I muddle through a daily sense of shame, self-depreciation, and anxiety. Nothing can trigger my anxiety, it comes on its own.
If Stephen Hawking is right, then nothing matters.
But I do not and cannot believe that.
I believe in angels, I believe in Jesus. I believe in Salvation. I believe that this will all work out.
But be clear, Atenism possibly influenced ancient Jewish people, the people who wrote the Old Testament. Aten was a sun god worshipped by the Pharoh Amenhotep IV, who changed his name to Akhenaten. This created a huge dischord in Ancient Egypt and he became the most reviled of all ancient kings.
The idea of the Sun giving us life is a beautiful expression of a basic truth. We would not be here without the Sun.
The true story may never be known.
You can see the interview at http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/may/15/stephen-hawking-interview-there-is-no-heaven