Unwell

I have been really sleepy all day. Kinda disconnected. My stomach feels queasy because of the powerful antibiotic I am on. I get the squishy diarrhea from that too.

Curiously, my prostate, which has been behaving for the last few weeks has hurt me off and on today. Could the antibiotic be upsetting thechronic condition that makes it hurt in the first place? I hope so.

I am clearing up in my head. My clogged ear keeps popping when I yawn, a good sign. I can hear markedly better but not normally yet.

However. I am coughing up the ultra pure grade of mucus that comes from the chest. I know you know how that is. We all get sick some time or another.

It is nothing to ashamed of.

This society we live in is overdue for collapse I think. People have idiotic beliefs, they crowd places like rats, and this prevalent contact with people from all over the place is an ideal transmissable siitutation for the invading bacteria or virus that prey on us humans.

I am not antisocial. I have Social Anxiety Disorder. This means I freak out if people are in my space. There are few exceptions. One is Jen.

Jen is afraid of something. I don't know why but she won't even let me see her bra. This is dumb, I know but I was curious as to what kind she wears, so maybe in the future, I can get her a better one that flatters her perfect breasts.

Jen is near perfect in body but NOT in mind. This is hardly saying she is anything like the yellow haired stereotype. Jen has a fear of contact.

She is overly sensitive and while that is hardly abnormal (I am myself) I think something is wrong with that.

Why is she like that, so closed in like that? I wish she at least acted like a good girlfriend once in this year and a half long charade that has been a relationship. Maybe then, I'd pay more attention to her. She has to give to receive. I do the same when I can.

I am sick and tired of having no money. I do not really know where my money goes, if things cost so much. I can't go to the doctor because I have no money.

I wish I had one iota of Arthelius's 'persuasive' power. Of course that is what got him into trouble and why he's a ghost and I am human, sitting here in my chair in the rural wasteland, 37 miles from my girlfriend, hurting in my lower abdomen, and feeling very sleepy. Ay ya.

Listen to Ned's Atomic Dustbin. It is one of the greatest bands to leave England, imo.