Really

People are insensitive and cruel. And you wonder why I have agoraphobia....

I got to a state where it doesn't mean anything. People do more harm than good with their reactions. Must think of outcomes to your decisions.

All we are is a race of stupid apes who were cursed with intelligence. Where do we fit in the natural world? Are we native to any one part of it? My DNA goes back to Western Europe only. I may be native to Tx but human beings are not naturally native to anywhere in North America.

Being a White American disconnects ties to distant ancestors. I likely have kin all over the east and back in the UK but I will never meet them.

I don't know. I wouldn't want to meet people I don't know. No one is really your friend.

Especially a female.

There, I said it. It isn't misogyny. I like women a lot, but their behavior is like ????? sometimes.

Curse me for my subscription to PH. It was paid for months ago. Budgeted, not that it is expensive.

KMT is the most expensive magazine to which I subscribe.

Aw, forget it. I like being a ghost and being a ghost, I shall be.

Ar-Ghost.

Anxiety Says

What do I think I when I see on tv, the people fighting over a new tv or other crap on sale? I worked in walmart for exactly 4 years and 1 day and I saw this so-called 'Black Friday' effect in action.

Like animals, the herd moves forward, crushing others and everything else in the way just to get a new tv or some other thing they could afford to get if they just were smart about their budget.

I am deeply distrustful of item on sale with discounts exceeding 50%. My many years in retail tell me that such discounts only mean that the store wants to get rid of it.

Why? Overstock? A glut of cheap Chinese-made crap? What is the targeted group for what is on sale? A new tv? What's wrong with yours?

I needed a new tv last year, mine finally perished with age and use. I went out and got an led hdtv for about $160. And this was in April, not in November. I budgeted for a new tv.

Selling them at huge discounts should be taken as something to be considerate of. It isn't going to be a top of the line Sony or Samsung tv.

I am not saying stuff on sale is bad. That is always a good thing but why are these stores so dependent on one day to have such a sale?

I would not dare to enter the herd frenzy to buy anything. Not that I have any money this time of the month but provoking my anxiety disorder for 'on sale' items is not worth it.

I order online so I don't have to go to the store. I feel panic in a store, I actually peed on myself when in walmart last. Didn't realize it until I got in the truck.

I have the prostate thing, yes, but how much of this was anxiety? It is the stress of anxiety disorder that damaged my prostate.

I can't go anywhere, do what I want. Even when I have money, I can go to my hometown where anxiety isn't so bad. But I am from a small town (less than 7k people, less so when I was a kid) and it is familiar.

Some things have changed but overall, it's not bad.

Peeing on myself happens when I have retention, I am panicked, or when I really have to go. I can't hold it very long but I usually don't let that happen. I pee much too often.

I remember a teacher when I was in high school who had that happen to him. Everyone made fun of him but I have empathy and always have. I wanted to know why that happened. Now I know.

I won't consciously soil myself. I don't like to be dirty, ever.

Going to the store is the hardest thing I do on a frequent basis, like every month. I try not to let my anxiety show. I have lived with it for many years now.

Getting trampled for something on sale....

I just don't understand it. I hope these holiday sales are abysmal and teach these stores a lesson.

Unchecked greed has consequences.

Thanksgiving

Flashback to the mid 80s when I was in elementary school. Thanksgiving was a fun time of parties, certain foods, being thankful for what you had. Friends and family.

What happened to that? 'Black Friday'. Greedy stores open on what should be a holiday of friends and family expressing thanks for what they have.

I am thankful that my anxiety disorder hasn't killed me yet. I am thankful for my mom. I am thankful for my music and the ability to write.

But I do not recognize the commercialization of this family holiday that is more about football, food, and seeing people you haven't in a while.

What will I do today? The same thing I do every day. I attempt to write, listen to music, play FFIX if I maintain an interest, it does bore sometimes.

I only recognize the meaning of this day, not the crass rotten capitalist greed that these stores make it out to be. I will not be feeding the greed. Not that I have money at this time of the month. When I do have money, nothing will be on sale! Typical.

If I could flashback to the mid 80s, I would. No web, no Ar-Ghost, nothing but love.