Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Mentally Ill?

My stupid urinary system and its mysterious issue have just angered me to the point where I scald my stupid peeny in hot water. There is something wrong with the hot/cold water in my house. The cold cuts out suddenly as some other draw on the water takes it away momentarily. This is not good when one takes a hot shower like I do. I step away as the water gets really hot and maybe my urinary area hurts, a spike in pain brought on by ???

I get very upset and stick my peeny in the hot water. Not for very long. I mean, why make it hurt more than it already does?

The way I am reacting to this unknown urinary condition bothers me greatly. I walk around naked or in my underwear, something I never usually do.

I am a ghost in the online world. I wish I had some of Arthelius' traits, like spectrally hiding his maleness. I am not ashamed of my peeny, no way, I'm just angry that it hurts deep inside.

My anxiety twists this situation into something that hurts not only physically but emotionally as I am not getting the attention from doctors who in reality do not care.

I am awaiting the day Jen finally lets me in. I am afraid this problem will spoil that. No one cares so why should I even attempt to get help?

I am Arthelius the Ghost, I will get through this somehow. Likely with meds that make me feel icky. Doctors poking at my genitals... ew! Why cant the doctor be female? I hate male attention at all.

It's all so sad.

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