Another

My mom is in the hospital again. Unlike before, this is an existential thing.

I must say I have never been too far from her. She needs the help but also my mental stability. 

I never had a life of my own. I don't have a female love nor children. I don't really contribute to the Greater Good. 

So I have recurrent suicidal thinking. I won't do it yet. I have to believe my mom will get better.

I don't have stability. I try to do my normal things and it causes a lot of emotional pain  because my mom is not there. 

It is unseemly for a guy to cry. Fuck that patriarchal bs. I do cry. It hurts a lot. 

I know she will be gone one day. I do not know if I will survive that. 

I am here. I am not going to hurt myself but the feeling is there. I don't want to cause anyone pain like I feel. A lot of people know me but do not know this.

Then this war in Israel bothers me. That and water scarcity like we had when rthe single water feed pipe for the whole town ruptured. It's fixed but no one trusts the water. Then the lake is drying up because it's been so dry. You can count on one hand how many times it has rained here since the beginning of the year. 

That's going to continue. Humanity cannot be changed. So the Earth will change to wipe us out. Just think of next summer when it's 130 degrees outside. 

No other species deserves extinction more. 

Hurricane Laura

 This is Hurricane Laura. 

This is a meta-disaster.

This is a side effect of climate change. 

The idiocy of conservatives would have you believe the earth would even out and solve this on its own.

What utter bullshit. This storm went from a measly tropical storm to a category 4 tropical cyclone in a matter of hours. 

I feel for the people in the areas affected. A 20 foot storm surge. Whole towns under water. Fetid stinking water full of garbage and alligators and snakes and who knows what else. 

This will keep happening. The world is changing. This happened before in the Paleocene. Only this time it's not natural. It's because of we human apes destroy what we touch. No species deserves extinction but we do. Very much. Mount Toba didn't do it. Nor did the black plague, not even coronavirus. What will end us would be truly epic. 

But this post is about a terrible disaster affecting the area that needs it the least. I hope people heeded the warnings and evacuated. If not. God help them.