Oh, Gosh

I am still sick. My throat is no longer sore unless I cough.

This does not excuse having beastly hair on my face. I am better than what I was in the last few posts. I no longer have a fever and the mucous is subsiding. I still cough some up but it is not as bad.

Why does this keep coming up? I am unused to being sick. I haven't been sick in a long time. I stay inside all the time and don't go anywhere.

I scrubbed my nose with proactiv as I said I would. I do not know if it made a difference.

I did have an accident. There are 2 overlapping scars on my upper lip. The older one was from when I was a kid and my mom's Chihuahua bit me. The other, which I cut, was from a can hitting me in the mouth as I took down a display in the old store I used to work in.

I hate multiple bladed razors. I do not know why I have one. I was using an old shaving cream as I ran out of the Aveeno kind.

I am running out of everything, deodorant, shampoo, orange juice, no cookies, it's stupid. There is a large interval typical of 31 day months between when my benefit comes.

I will be okay, I believe. I am getting better but I am having urinary issues related to my prostate gland problems. I don't like peeing on myself. It hurts when I don't do the m-thing for a while. I did not feel like it when I was sicker than I am now.

If this illness was caused by a bacterium, it could migrate down to the prostate and give me a bacterial infection, which hurts like a mf.

Anyway, this is a shave check post. I do not feel 100% so I am not as cute as I could be. I desperately need a haircut.

That spot on my lip is where I cut that canned vegetable can scar, it's blood.

Shave Sick

I have become sick, cold or something. It is respiratory, something that has happened before more than once.

I did work in retail for a very long time. Contact with the public, whether be it at school or work, you can catch what others bring about.

This may have been what happened here. I may be isolated by my anxiety disorder but others here are not.

I didn't shave on Tuesday because I didn't feel my facial hair had grown enough to comfortably shave it. I did it on Thursday, when it was cold and as I am ill at the moment. Willpower is strong when it kicks in.

I wish it would stop growing. I could take certain poisonous hormones and it would but then, I would really get gynecomastia. If I did, I would show off my tits. I can do so now but I don't have them to show. Just pectorals. As it should be.

I am not female in appearance no matter what others have said. I am pale because I don't go outside. If I exposed my skin to the sun, I would burn or get new freckles, neither a good thing.

Short of posting an image of my male parts, which is possible, I assure you I am male in mind and body, wants and desires.

My shave check picture. I am sick, I am sorry I don't look better.

Forgotten?

No one seems to read my blog anymore. Why? What did I say? Don't like the new design? 

I have become sick, people bringing it from outside. Feels like a cold or something. 

What do you want to see in this blog? Do you want to see more pictures? 

More opinions? Talk about my ever-present male pain? (which is stronger than usual at the moment)

I could post a picture of my male parts. I reckon that would get some interest. 

I don't have a tropical storm to write about. I know one ravaged the Philippines recently but I missed it. I haven't been feeling well mentally either. 

I haven't gone anywhere since the drama-causing trip to the laundry. I will have to do so again but I will wait until I go get my hair cut, it badly needs it.

My watch also stopped. I have to go to a jewelry store to get a new battery. That isn't cool, a watch barely 2 years old dying like that. Can't know how long it sat in a warehouse or something. 

I will write an underwear post and post a shave check picture later, about to go shave.

It is cold but self-identity is stronger than discomfort. 

Badly Sore

I hurt my hip falling through the floor. It is hard to walk and sit down. That nasty scratch's pain has intensified. I don't know what to do about it.

I am sorry if the change to my blog bothers you. I do post pictures of things that bother me. My male parts are one of those things.

The scratch picture will be taken over the course of healing. I have one from this afternoon but I will not post it.

I may have to go to the doctor. I will let y'all know if I do. This pain is nigh intolerable.

I feel awful. May have contracted a bacterial infection thanks to that scratch. Nasty floor that scratched me.

I don't know if I can maintain this stupid thing, fixing pipes. I never had to do that before in my whole life before being here.

You don't know how important water is until you don't have it. It is vital to bathing, cooking, drinking, vital to life. You would die without it.

It is just stupid. I may have harmed my prostate gland falling like I did. I hit the bottom of the floor hard on it.

There is no blood in my pee but I have been looking for that every time I pee for several years now. Found it once when I worked at wm. Not since though it feels like there should be.

I feel awful. I wish this hadn't happened.

One Away from 40

I am getting older. I made it to 39. I never imagined being this old.

Am I starting to show signs of age? Well, my body problems come from stress and being sedentary. I am relatively healthy but I have teeth problems from the sugar death, and then that constant pain in my uro-g area and the ordeal of peeing.

I have either become sick or my allergies have revved up. I do not feel well at all.

I am trying to write a story. I haven't really written since October.

I hope I can enjoy my cake and I will feel better soon.

I said I would retire this blog but that is a lot of trouble. What do you think?

Not Sick... Yet

I just came back from the diabetes doctor. I do not have it but I have some disturbing deficiencies and my BMI is a little too high, not much but I shouldn't have a high BMI.

There is a naked picture of me on my nudie blog but you will have to e~mail me for permission to see it.

I will change my diet, take the necessary vitamins and get health insurance so I can pay for the treatment plan to restore my health.

I don't feel so well at the moment. I'll write more later.

Hurricane Rick and Oh, Me

This is a basic IR image of Hurricane Rick, currently tormenting the area near the Sea of Cortez. The GOES Satellite System is great, ain't it?

Forgive the dark area in the picture, it is the terminator line, the line between night and day as seen from orbit.

Ol' Rick there is starting to move into colder waters and cold water to a hurricane is like water on a fire. I hope to visit Puero Vallarta and Cabo San Lucas someday and I hope this tormenta grande spares them and breaks up over the Sierra Madre Oriental.

I am still rather ill. I have a come and go fever and a painful cough and the angry prostate chimes in when I go to the bathroom. I still have no voice, but that's not so bad. Ain't got much to say anyway.

Kinda like Arthelius, the bum.

Ay! Rick's a Monster!

This Rainbow-IR image from a NOAA GOES Pacific Floater Satellite shows the awesome storm in the Pacific off Mexico's southern coast. It isn't threatening any land at the moment but gosh, it's a great picture.

I have become sick after an environmental disaster (water damage) in the rural wasteland. I have medicine and it works for a while. I think its coddling the mold allergy but is it an allergy or pneumonia? Time will tell, and maybe, Arthelius will get off his spectral ass to help. Ain't likely though.

Getting Sicker

Oh, I wish I could be really Arthelius for a day. It hurts in my chest to cough now. It's painful and scary.

I called into work because of this because certain things in the store make me cough more than I normally would. I hurt so bad when I do.

I don't know why, but it always seems that when I get sick, its usually worse than other people's sicknesses. I can't say the rural wasteland here is all that spotless. I do things like wash dishes and forget to wash my hands afterwards. Then there is the trash taking, down the hill, across the road and the burned area to the dumpster, which has moved 30 feet since y2k.

I guess it's my lot in life to feel badly mentally or physically. NOTE: Jen has not texted or called to see if I was okay.

I hope I get better soon.

Just Awful

When I woke up today, I had a painful and mucus extracting cough that ravages my throat, I have it still, but it has been reined in a bit by DayQuil and Ricola.

I left work early because I feel awful and my cough is painful and embarrassing to me. I sneezed earlier and a gob of mucus hit my left shoe. Eww.

Oh. sorry, a 45 minute break whilst I took a bath/shower to get rid of a bone chilling coldness I had.

Anyway, I feel awful physically, sure, but it will eventually pass. There is another awful that is not so easy to displace.

I don't know why but many of the females in my work area talk about sex. Their experiences and how often they like to have it. It is a wonderful thing. I agree with that, but I haven't actually done it since the balmy late summer of y2k.

My mentally immature girlfriend refuses any talk of sex until we are married. Do I want to spend my elder years with this girl who considers her dogs her children, who has no idea of what life is really like? I am of the firm belief that when we do have sex, it will unlock this easiness to her charm. She will be better for it, not being so uptight and prudish all the time.

When those females talk of sex, I walk away. They remind me of what I do not have. I am stupidly loyal to Jen. But if I defer to her beliefs, then I may be 50 before even seeing her naked.

She has been my girlfriend for more than a year. When is it time to give up? I feel neglected by her and she wonders why I don't come to her spartan house that smells of dogs? Why doesn't she understand that I dont like dogs?

It does not make me a bad person. I am a cat person. I love my cats but they are pets, not family members. They stay outside and do what cats do, sleep and eat and crap.

I hope she reads this. I can't get the nerve to tell her how I feel sometimes. She gets upset so easy.

I am physically neglected by my girlfriend. Many say it is wrong and I should leave her but what is love but an overpowering force?

I woundn't mind in the least bit if I had a sex friend separate from my gf. She wounldn't know and if she did, I don't really think she'd care if she was not involved.

Arthelius had several sex friends and one true love. He did all right, but now he's spectral with a Wookie female who has all but inherited his legacy. Not that Marakka is anything like sensuously desireable from a human POV.

Ah, the trials of being a ghost. I envy that, really.

Unwell

I have been really sleepy all day. Kinda disconnected. My stomach feels queasy because of the powerful antibiotic I am on. I get the squishy diarrhea from that too.

Curiously, my prostate, which has been behaving for the last few weeks has hurt me off and on today. Could the antibiotic be upsetting thechronic condition that makes it hurt in the first place? I hope so.

I am clearing up in my head. My clogged ear keeps popping when I yawn, a good sign. I can hear markedly better but not normally yet.

However. I am coughing up the ultra pure grade of mucus that comes from the chest. I know you know how that is. We all get sick some time or another.

It is nothing to ashamed of.

This society we live in is overdue for collapse I think. People have idiotic beliefs, they crowd places like rats, and this prevalent contact with people from all over the place is an ideal transmissable siitutation for the invading bacteria or virus that prey on us humans.

I am not antisocial. I have Social Anxiety Disorder. This means I freak out if people are in my space. There are few exceptions. One is Jen.

Jen is afraid of something. I don't know why but she won't even let me see her bra. This is dumb, I know but I was curious as to what kind she wears, so maybe in the future, I can get her a better one that flatters her perfect breasts.

Jen is near perfect in body but NOT in mind. This is hardly saying she is anything like the yellow haired stereotype. Jen has a fear of contact.

She is overly sensitive and while that is hardly abnormal (I am myself) I think something is wrong with that.

Why is she like that, so closed in like that? I wish she at least acted like a good girlfriend once in this year and a half long charade that has been a relationship. Maybe then, I'd pay more attention to her. She has to give to receive. I do the same when I can.

I am sick and tired of having no money. I do not really know where my money goes, if things cost so much. I can't go to the doctor because I have no money.

I wish I had one iota of Arthelius's 'persuasive' power. Of course that is what got him into trouble and why he's a ghost and I am human, sitting here in my chair in the rural wasteland, 37 miles from my girlfriend, hurting in my lower abdomen, and feeling very sleepy. Ay ya.

Listen to Ned's Atomic Dustbin. It is one of the greatest bands to leave England, imo.

Sick, but Sharp

I have cut down on taking the Celexa-clone so it does not affect the cough medicine I take. I have a ? Stap infection? Cold? Respiratory infection? Whatever, it freaking hurts and my right ear is stopped up, screwing up my hearing, my 2nd most important sense.

It kinda hurts to breathe and I assume that I should go see the doc but I have no money to do so. It sucks. I wrote a letter to my bank about charging me to death for overdraft. I suck at math and Im weak to getting things I consider needed, no matter the cost.

I have written a lot over the last three days. I have watched the entire second season of Babylon 5 in the last three days. I have seen some of my favorite infomercials and i have been getting along fine mentally. No anxiety here in the rural wasteland.

This sickness is taking a toll on me. I may have to beg $15 from someone so I can see a doc.

I did the m-thing just a while ago and it's working fine. The antibiotic I am taking probably killed whatever was hurting my prostate.

It isn't cold. I dont know what is going on with the weather. It is probably why I'm sick. I didn't go to work today because my fever was over 100. I will not sign any punishment for missing too many days. I am truly sick.

My head cannot decide if it wants to hurt or not. My ear is bothering me. My chest feels like someone took a wire brush and cleaned out the inside of my bronchi and trachea, esp in my throat.

Oddly, I have not had much nasal congestion. This is maybe not the case since my coughing has become worse, a sign of respiratory distress. It shouldn't hurt to breathe.

I maybe getting emotionally better since this holiday bs is almost over. Hail hail, March 2nd. Texas Independence Day. Now there's you a holiday to celebrate.

This ghost is a Texan through and through and no amount of talk, or charm or even my favorite Californian, Jen, can take that out of me,

I got a bitchin new cell phone, a Samsung sgh-a127 camera phone. Let those douchebags commit a safety violation now. I will have photographic evidence. My only complaint about it is that it is red. I never liked red but its dark enough to be tolerable.

I played warcraft at Jen's house. I didn't get much out of it. I'd much rather play Final Fantasy 9.

Gosh, this would be a great time if I wasn't sick. Oh well, nothing is a perfect moment without some complication.

I will have a perfect moment sometime in January. I'll keep ya'll posted. I may take a trip to see the Alamo again and Jen's coming too. We may go see Disturbed, too. Hope my ear heals up before then.

Jen and I are becoming closer finally.

Maybe that is why I'm cheerful despite my distorted voice and uneasy breathing.

Sadness

Several things have made me sad recently. I did not mean this blog to be a place to bitch about how life can be so intrinsically testing.

That being said, I will say that whatever triggers my anxiety is just plain unwanted. I am sick of my manager. my gf, who plays on my sadness like no other, and just the multitides of meaningless lives that jostle and crowd like so much cattle.

I'm content to stay here in the rural wasteland. Why do I call it that? Take a look at the dead and decomposing deer out by the highway or the clear cutting of the trees and places houses used to be.

Sure, it is far away from my job or just going to the store, and the net speeds out here would lose a race with a snail but it is where I have lived for the better part of 9 years.

Freaking cold and gray weather combined with the usual holiday depression make it hard just to enjoy oneself.

The days become a blur after a while. I am in a meaningless job that serves on purpose but to answer stupid questions and waste time.

But I recognize the value of having a job. I was without one from 2003 to 2006.

We shall not have a repeat of that, I hope. My anxiety developed in that time.

Part of Arthelius's story had a lot to do with the decay of emotion caused by the betrayal by a girl. It weighs some time on his spectral mind. And if that was a portent of someting in actuality, I would much rather be a ghost like him.