I Haven't Forgotten

I haven't been updating my blog like I used to. Nothing much happens to write about. I post tropical storm pictures because it is interesting, to me, at least. 

I am not exactly upset anymore but my male pain persists, gets worse and worse. I can manage my anxiety if people stay away from me. 

As I write this, it is storming outside. This morning, I woke up to a tornado warning. That's never fun. I do not like storms at all. 

The power just flickered so I will close this out. I am still here, so do not worry. 

Sorry

I don't like being known for my male pain. I write about it here because it is something unseemly to talk about.

I apologize if you are offended. I am hurting more than ever but do you really want to know?

I shaved my parts yesterday. I can post a picture if there is any interest.

Reconsidered

I was going to close this blog but it is more or less a record of my life. It has been going for years and why stop now?

We may have to move. I do not know to where or anything about it. I will have a hard time but sticking together, we should be okay.

Forgotten?

No one seems to read my blog anymore. Why? What did I say? Don't like the new design? 

I have become sick, people bringing it from outside. Feels like a cold or something. 

What do you want to see in this blog? Do you want to see more pictures? 

More opinions? Talk about my ever-present male pain? (which is stronger than usual at the moment)

I could post a picture of my male parts. I reckon that would get some interest. 

I don't have a tropical storm to write about. I know one ravaged the Philippines recently but I missed it. I haven't been feeling well mentally either. 

I haven't gone anywhere since the drama-causing trip to the laundry. I will have to do so again but I will wait until I go get my hair cut, it badly needs it.

My watch also stopped. I have to go to a jewelry store to get a new battery. That isn't cool, a watch barely 2 years old dying like that. Can't know how long it sat in a warehouse or something. 

I will write an underwear post and post a shave check picture later, about to go shave.

It is cold but self-identity is stronger than discomfort. 

Changed

I changed the very look of my blog. Something different. I made a new star scene at Colour Lovers to fit the new style.

Why light colors? I don't always feel dark and troubled. I veg out sometimes or lose myself in writing stories. I listen to music to tune out things. The Skullcandy Hesh II headphones help in this.

I had given up on them when I had a cord issue but I got a new cord that is about as stiff as a coat hangar wire. It is a better cord, better transmission and sound to it.

I do not know if you like the new style. No one ever comments here despite the comment blank left there. It isn't there just for show.

I am feeling okay and the cold isn't so bad. For now, at least. Winter's not over yet.

What Are You Here For?

Why do you come to my blog? Do you like pictures? What I write about in my sadly anxiety-ridden life?

I write about stuff that happens, things that interest me. I like the weather and other things.

I do write opinions and whine about how I hurt.

I post a shave check picture to show more of how I change over time.

I don't know. Some posts get a lot of views while those recently haven't. Why? Because I posted a picture of my backside? I was badly scratched there and it hurts nearly a week after the fact.

I do not mean to upset anyone. If you don't like it, look at another post or something.

I am considering closing this blog but if you give me a reason to keep it up, I will stay.

If you think this is silly, why did you come here?

Worry

I am considering retiring this blog. It covers a bad time in my life and things I would like to forget (my time at wm and Jen, especially).

Someone in Russia is spamming my blog.  I don't like Russians. They were the bad guys when I was a kid. That hasn't changed, apparently.

I would continue talking about my anxiety, underwear, the weather, astronomy and daily life in a new blog.

My worry is who actually looks at my blog. I don't want to feel anxiety about it. Ruffling my anxiety feathers is not something you need to do, not if you are a decent human being.

I will retire it soon. Whether I stay at Blogger or not, I have not decided.

If you do care, submit a comment. If you don't see the comment blank, click on an archive post and you'll see it.

Arthelius the Ghost is off on holiday with Marraka. They are visiting M83, immune to the radiation there. They won't be back for some time.

What is Wrong?

Wrong.

I have been thinking. I don't like to go outside. The sun is unpleasant. Also, other people. I don't feel comfortable in the company of others.

My anxiety disorder is worse in some ways than it used to be. I feel it when reading a book or watching a movie. I don't know if I can deal with this for the rest of my life.

I have been just sitting here and doing my thing. The same thing I have really done since 2003. I have a better computer now and I have written so many stories since then. I just don't know.

You people who are only here for the pictures really bother me. As far as I know, you are too stupid to read the posts.

I have been writing about personal things since this blog was started and I am really bothered when you cheapen it by looking for only the pictures.

It is bad enough that you don't comment. I don't have to have a comment blank on my blog, you know.

I know which posts are looked at. I use analytics on here. I wrote a post about Russia and it got looked at but I don't give a fuck about Russia. We have our own problems here.

That is what is wrong.

Insulted

Why are you reading this blog? I write about something personal and no one reads it. I write about something stupid like Russia and it gets dozens of looks.

Why are you here? If you don't give a damn about me, why? This is really starting to bother me.

Shall I post a picture of my peena? Would you look then?

What are you here for?

I have things to write about but why if no one reads it?

I am ever more certain my life will end in suicide. I hope you know that you people are not helping.

Changed

I fiddled with my blog and made a new pattern for the background. It is called 'Open Cluster' and I made it on Colour Lovers, of which I have been a member for a long time now. I don't like fancy things, keep it simple and readable.