Worse?

How sick am I? It seems to be worse than first thought. First, this started as an allergy thing, watery eyes, sneezing and a fever.

But yesterday, I started coughing, a lot. When I woke up today, my throat rages and I have lost my voice. I can talk but not very well. It is unpleasant to talk because it makes me cough.

I don't seem to be coughing up a lot of anything. I feel a strange tickle in my throat like you feel when you cough.

I still had a fever but I have Tylenol which has let it subside for now.

I am hungry but my throat.... I only ate a chicken sandwich, maybe I shouldn't have but damn it, I am hungry.

I get so thirsty. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking tea but I am.

Coughing is painful now. It hurts my throat and makes my head pulse. This is a sinus thing or what?

I don't have the money to see the doctor yet. This would happen in the last week... fucking months with five weeks in them. They are always the worst.

My phone's minutes run out two days before I get paid. That's a 30-day thing, an illustration about the bad part of a monthly payment.

I do not know if I will still be sick when I get paid. I hope to God not. I will go to the doctor if so but assuming I am getting worse, will I make it?

I don't remember when I was last sick like this. I was, I worked at wm then. I self-medicated which I cannot do because I have no money.

It's a vicious circle.

My nose, raw from wiping and being near the heater, seems to choose this moment to peel. I will scrub it with Proactiv before I shave. I don't know if you look at my nose in my shave check picture. Why should you? Noses seem to be an obscene thing to me.

Burping. Been doing that a lot. I don't know what is up with that.

I shouldn't have gotten sick. What the fuck? I am all but a shut-in. I don't leave this place more than three times a month or when I have to do my laundry.

Could I have gotten sick there? I don't think so. I avoid getting close to people, my agoraphobia avoidance.

I don't know how I got sick but until my throat subsides, the mucous river cuts back, and my voice returns, I will be sick.

Hate it so.

Hate Sickness

I hate being sick. I haven't been sick in a long time. What is different about now?

I had to get a big box of Puffs. My nose is clogged, slowly leaking high-grade mucous. That mucous, I have seen naughty films where a female gags herself on fellatio and spits up the same mucous. How in the world is that attractive? It feels good to receive it but not so watching it.

What is the point of this mucous? What is my body doing?

I have lost my voice, I try not to talk, it kind of hurts.

I don't like being sick. Doubt seriously anyone does but really, it's just awful.

I slept for 10 and a half hours. What is happening to me?

I don't like getting up at 5 pm but did on this Hate Sunday.

Feel the worse when I do wake up.

My digestive system seems not to be affected. I still get hungry and can eat. God forbid if I have another accident. I think that was because it was dia-icky and I didn't realize it. I did clean my MeUndies which aren't really supposed to be washed and dried in the fashion I usually do laundry. Heat blasting dryer, I mean, it costs quarters to keep it going. I set it to hot and set it for 30 minutes. 35 to 40 minutes for pants and towels. HAVE to be dry because of the long stretches between the time I can do laundry.

I hate being sick. I hope it fades before my benefit comes. It is embarrassing being sick in public. You feel like you shouldn't be out and about.

But really, that is in like a week away. I have been sick for going on 4 days already. If it goes on for that long, what damage is this doing to my body?

I can't go to the doctor now. I may have medicare but if he prescribes a medicine, which is usually the case with my doctor, I could not afford to get it right now.

Fucking greed in all of the healthcare and pharma industries.

I have not seen my doctor since the summer of 2013. That may be a bad thing but that is how it is. Parts of my medicare don't mature until another few months.

I may be getting better but still feel awful. I mean, my body must be fighting back. If this is bacterial in origin, some of it has likely migrated to my prostate gland because it has been hurting more than normal  recently.

I do want to talk about other things but a long as I am sick, this will be what I write about.

Sick

I don't know what is making me sick. I made it through many years of cold winters and never got sick. It could be something others brought in.

How am I sick?

My nose runs, slowly like a glacier moving. It is watery mucous and sticky. Mucous never bothered me but gosh, my nose keeps running and it gets everywhere. It is nasty.

My head feels like a block of lead, heavy and painful.

My eyes water and light hurts them. Writing this, I can barely look at the white screen.

I sneeze every five minutes or so. It is painful but doesn't hurt my chest like sneezes usually do. Sneezing seems to loosen the mucous in my nose for a moment.

I cannot say if this is an allergic reaction or is something to do with a social illness.

I feel awful.

My booty scratch is healing but itches like all get out. I am surprised I didn't get sick from that. My male pain has also made itself known more than normal. Could this be connected?

I have an issue with my male parts but this is not the post to mention it. I'll talk about it later.

Ebola

I have been very upset. I reckon I might as well write about Ebola.

A long time ago, like when I was 18, I read 'The Hot Zone' by Preston. It tells the story of the 1976 Ebola epidemic in what had been Zaire in those days. My empathy, apparent even back then, stronger now, felt for those poor people who died in such a horrible way.

I know what Ebola can do. It is a hemorrhagic fever virus, causes fatal bleeding and organ failure. Prognosis is very grim.

It is a dangerous health threat, to be sure.

However, Ebola doesn't spread like the flu. A person with the symptoms is not in any shape to visit with people but that is no excuse to be lax in how you behave. Don't kiss, have sex, suck, whatever with the sick one. Don't handle what they use. Keep a distance even though you want to help.

It is unlikely to be a pandemic issue in the United States but both the CDC and the WHO say it can 'mutate', 'evolve' is how I see it, and one never can be too sure.

I won't worry about Ebola. My anxiety disorder is killing me. I need no outside help with that.

There is an Ebola outbreak on a smaller scale in the Congo right now. That is the strain that affected those people in the same region in 1976.

Sanitation isn't like it is here in parts of Africa. Customs are different as well. This is why it spreads there.

That very reason should allay fears of this virulent, extremely dangerous, viral disease affecting America.