Worse?

How sick am I? It seems to be worse than first thought. First, this started as an allergy thing, watery eyes, sneezing and a fever.

But yesterday, I started coughing, a lot. When I woke up today, my throat rages and I have lost my voice. I can talk but not very well. It is unpleasant to talk because it makes me cough.

I don't seem to be coughing up a lot of anything. I feel a strange tickle in my throat like you feel when you cough.

I still had a fever but I have Tylenol which has let it subside for now.

I am hungry but my throat.... I only ate a chicken sandwich, maybe I shouldn't have but damn it, I am hungry.

I get so thirsty. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking tea but I am.

Coughing is painful now. It hurts my throat and makes my head pulse. This is a sinus thing or what?

I don't have the money to see the doctor yet. This would happen in the last week... fucking months with five weeks in them. They are always the worst.

My phone's minutes run out two days before I get paid. That's a 30-day thing, an illustration about the bad part of a monthly payment.

I do not know if I will still be sick when I get paid. I hope to God not. I will go to the doctor if so but assuming I am getting worse, will I make it?

I don't remember when I was last sick like this. I was, I worked at wm then. I self-medicated which I cannot do because I have no money.

It's a vicious circle.

My nose, raw from wiping and being near the heater, seems to choose this moment to peel. I will scrub it with Proactiv before I shave. I don't know if you look at my nose in my shave check picture. Why should you? Noses seem to be an obscene thing to me.

Burping. Been doing that a lot. I don't know what is up with that.

I shouldn't have gotten sick. What the fuck? I am all but a shut-in. I don't leave this place more than three times a month or when I have to do my laundry.

Could I have gotten sick there? I don't think so. I avoid getting close to people, my agoraphobia avoidance.

I don't know how I got sick but until my throat subsides, the mucous river cuts back, and my voice returns, I will be sick.

Hate it so.