Unwanted Drama

I talked about the Tide allergy. I had it bad, itching terribly and breaking out in places where the clothes fit close to skin. You can imagine where.

I ran out of clean clothes, wearing them despite the Tide allergy. It isn't easy to go anywhere.

Understand, the drama of my sister. She is a tetra-disaster, causes trouble in no matter what she does. It is her truck that is our only vehicle. I had to use it.

I live in between two towns 18 miles apart. Just going somewhere involves driving on the highway. When my car was operational, I did not go anywhere much, I did when I had to or when I wanted to see the lake. I haven't seen the lake in over 10 years.

Is it a crime to want clean clothes not washed in Tide? I went to wm and got the All I couldn't get on the monthly trip to the store. I do not go anywhere else. It was the laundry. Is it bad to go to the laundry?

Am I bad person for washing my clothes? This isn't a frivolous this, it's a fucking human right.

I have a quarter fund for going to the Laundromat. It is not a big deal, I prefer the laundromat because it is an HE washer whose drum is made of METAL. It is a dryer not powered by electricity. It is a better way.

It isn't easy. It's panic-bait. Kids getting everywhere loud noises, bright lights. It is a perfect storm of the things that ruffle my anxiety feathers.

They took money from me and lied to me. I needed my hair cut, still do. I can't do that until my benefit comes in 2 weeks now.

My watch is dead. I was to get a new battery for it. I cannot do that now until after my benefit.

I can deal with the hair, I can be cute with it.

I can deal without a watch for a while but it isn't easy.

I was thinking, if I had killed myself in 08, I almost did, this would be no trouble. How is this healthy thinking?

If I am ever to get 'better', how can I get 'better' when people dig and dig and pull the ripcord to a metascale panic attack?

I only wanted clean clothes. That does not make me a bad person.

I could go naked but really, no one likes a naked male. Myself included.