Icky Mess

I had an extreme male pain. This is usual when I have to crap. Increased pressure in my colon presses on my prostate gland and ay, it hurts like a motherfucker.

Only this time, I don't know if it is because I am sick or I feel like a Ken doll cooked in the microwave, I lost bowel control. Got in my MeUndies and on my leg as I took them off, contaminating my pants and a towel I wore when I used All Free-Clear to handwash my MeUndies, which are clean and drying.

I am 39 years old. I am aging, everyone is, but will my elder life mean more incidents like this? No, I believe this was an isolated incident because it was partly dia-icky, like a gelatinous mass.

I don't know what caused it. I did swallow mucous as it comes down my throat, no choice. A lifelong ingrained thing, something my mom did NOT tolerate was spitting. I cannot spit, unless I really have to.

And the mucous still flows. I don't know why this illness persists. I drink orange juice and boost the Vitamin C in my over sugar-laden system.

I have allergy medicine but it only helped by stopping the constant sneezing.

Now a cough has started. Not a painful cough, my chest does not hurt, rather when the mucous builds up.

I feel ashamed. Such a stupid mess. I scrubbed myself raw with Dial and then the body wash I use. I will consider this an isolated incident and the next time that severe male pain erupts, go to the fucking bathroom.

My prostate gland issued some fluid, meaning it was squished on. Muscle tension and pressure pressing on it, that is how it got damaged in the first place.

I remember when Dr. H gave me that prostate massage, it was an awful and embarrassing mess and I did not even have an erection. No, pressing on my prostate will cause pain and pain is second only to anxiety that will kill excitement. I don't understand how other guys like a prostate massage. That is agony and a feeling of violation to me.

I am sorry to share this with you. It is what happened and I am feeling ashamed. Smh....

I rechanged my blog back to a dark theme because the white hurts my eyes. I am more light-sensitive than normal. I do not know why. I am going to the eye doc soon.

I hope I feel better soon.