Hurting More

I don't know what it is. I have been eating as I should instead of once a day and started eating wheat bread again because I am not getting enough fiber, evident when I go to the bathroom.

I am hurting in the familiar place, my prostate area, male pain. Something has irritated it. Did I drink a soda? Yes, from Walgreens, a fountain Pepsi. I was thirsty. Should have got water, I know.

But I was hurting before that.

I was told two things to make the pain go away. One is to take a very hot bath, which I do in the night. It does help for a while. The other thing was to do the m-thing or have sex more. Well, the sex thing isn't happening so I have to rely on myself.

Make no mistake, my parts work. However, when I am hurting, I can't get excited. It isn't ED, I could get excited despite the pain with the proper stimulation. (Malee did it with her mouth) I like that, but what guy doesn't?

I would be careful about allowing that again. If it is a bacterial infection making my male pain hurt more than normal, which is hardly rare, I don't want to risk being with another person.

What girl would want to be with me? I am on disability, I have a car but it is destroyed, I have the teeth thing, I have anxiety disorder, I am sort of out of shape.

Gosh, I was wore out after going to the Laundromat yesterday. That was both picking up and carrying that heavy basket and anxiety. Could doing that made my pain worse?

I don't know. I do need to go to the doctor but parts of my medicare do not mature for a few month. I need to see Urology but they don't take medicare, the greedy bastards.

I did write a 'pelvic shave check' post and even put a picture in it. Would you like to see it? Let me know.

I don't know if this pain will persist. I will go to ER if there is blood in my pee or the pain gets too bad. It is almost there.

But it is embarrassing to go to the ER with this problem when there are injured and sick people there.

Also, I don't want that icky lubrication gel they use on my MeUndies. I reconsidered because I did need a red pair, the origin of this conflict, and finally broke down and ordered a pair. I feel alienated by them but hey, it's underwear. It's not a big deal.

I am not a 'man'. I am male. To me, there is a distinction. What makes me male? Male parts? Body plan? Addled mushy brain? Anxiety has distorted my self-image for a long time. I am male, yes, and will stay that way until the next life.