Belief

It is why I did not commit suicide and continue not to do that irrevocable action.

It is what assures me that things make sense.

It is belief. I believe in God. It is impossible not to and make sense of things.

Nothing just happens, that violates causality.

What is the causality behind my mental trouble? Is it brain chemistry or heredity or what? I hit my head on a concrete porch when I was a kid and had a concussion. I was out for three hours. How did that affect me?

I don't talk about my beliefs. It is a sure way to cause an argument and my life experience tells me not to cause a conflict, which can ruffle my anxiety feathers something fierce.

Other people are the primary factor that ruffles my anxiety feathers. How can a social creature exist if he cannot deal with other people?

I try not to have questions, they can lead to a very dark place that hurts. I am not in the dark place, I am trying to feel better.

But then, if other people intrude, that dark place can return.

Belief is strong but pain is stronger. I don't want pain. So I stay inside, away from other people.

I like being a ghost. I wish it were not so but that is how it is. Okay, enough about this.

I will talk about something else later. It seems that posts about bodily functions are popular. Why is that?

Other people.... smh.