Emotion

I have said before that I think I have a female soul. Then again, is a soul gender specific?  I am emotive, I have empathy and sensitivity, too much sensitivity. Stressed to the max, became Anxiety Disorder.

Who has Anxiety Disorder? Primarily females do. I am not female. How does this figure then? What part of me is female? None physically. My mind isn't female. It is something far deeper.

Why does emotion affect me so? It doesn't affect other guys like this? Why did Jen hurting me like that still hurts, four years after the fact? It forced my anxiety to recoil, pulling me back into my shell. I will likely never get out.

I can see pictures of loved ones who have gone and I cry. Why? Crying doesn't bring them back. It is emotion.

Why do I have empathy? I mean compared to my sister, she lacks certain traits like this. Did I inherit them all, being firstborn?

Like I said, I am not female. I am as male as any other guy. I just am more sensitive than a lot of them.

This over-sensitivity can have consequences as I get older.

People say 'grow up, suck it up' Whatever. You do not feel what I do. I am emotive. You couldn't deal with this feeling. A lifetime of this feeling and I can barely deal.

I'm sorry. I feel anxiety-distress right now. I will be okay later.