I Am Back

I am back online. My anxiety disorder has qualified for SS benefits. It is that bad, entwined in my soul. My hands shake. I sweat. I feel scared, panicky. 
For those who have read this blog over the years, you have seen how it has grown worse and worse, left untreated by doctors. I saw a psychologist who diagnosed me and he said that was stupid of those other doctors. He was right. My doctor doesn't give a damn about me and I must go see him to get a new med for my problem.

My male problem is linked with the stress caused by this feeling. A constant pain radiating from the center of my pelvis. It hurts to pee, to do #2. I can't have sex because it hurts. I do the m-thing, but that hurts, too.

I don't know what I am going to do. I feel just badly like that. This SS benefit will help so much. I have been without things, deodorant, mouthwash, etc... I need new shoes, new clothes. I mean, there are holes developing in my socks and my underwear. If I had any skill, I'd sew them up myself but I don't have the skill.

I would imagine if I had been a girl, my beloved grandmother would have taught me. Not as a boy.

I am back online and will update this more often again. I can't wait for some more wicked hurricane pictures. Not that hurricanes are good things, they display natural symmetry and the swirl of low pressure beauty.

Arthelius has been away for a while. We'll hear from him soon.