Ugly?

I have often wondered why no girls seem interested in me. I don't mean if we didn't have daily contact like at work (how I met Jen and Malee). I mean going somewhere, like to the store. I feel smaller than I am, inconsequential. This is my anxiety disorder distorting my self-image.

I am 64.7 inches tall. I weigh about 156 lbs. Yes, I could slim down a bit but I am almost 40 so what's the point?

I feel ugly. I don't like attention. I feel uncomfortable when someone looks at me. It makes it uncomfortable to talk to people.

Girls, their attention is the worst. I find myself avoiding them if possible. This is contrary to what I want. How can I meet a new girlfriend if this happens?

I find a strong attraction to a girl's eyes. Her face. I don't like every girl like that but there are some that are beautiful. Every girl has a beauty about her, make no mistake, it isn't always physical.

I feel ugly, just small and hideous like a gnome. I don't have warty green skin. I am pale and built like a human male. I used to believe I would change that one day but I saw my pelvis on a CT scan and nope, can't change that and be what I am not.

I would like my parts removed but it will likely never happen. Too much trouble and why get cut on if you can avoid it?

I am posting a picture of me to show maybe I am ugly. I certainly feel that way.