Reitieration

I have mentioned it before in my blog.

I hate being male. I hate being over-sensitive. I hate not being like other males. I hate having a peena.
I hate people making fun of me because I am short, no one makes fun of a female my size.

I hate body hair. I hate facial hair. I hate oily skin. I hate having a fucked up prostate gland that always hurts to some degree.

I hate expectation. I hate the shame that I am not like my ancestors. I hate people thinking I am queer because I like to wear purple and like Madonna. I hate that nothing I say can convince them that I am not like that.

I hate going somewhere and being judged. I hate that some guy things, alcohol, carousing, many sports, do not appeal to me.

I hate being forgotten. I hate being blamed for things I didn't do.

I just hate being male. I cannot change, but if I was 25 years younger, I would have. Even so, I have male bones, male muscles, male face, male hair and skin. You saw my VS picture, my legs are male.

I hate not finding underwear that doesn't enhance this appendage I have. I hate wanting sex all the time.

I hate the anxiety disorder that keeps me from finding a new girlfriend. I hate a lot of things about being male, but then, if I was female, things probably would have been worse and I would have killed myself already, assuming I had the same mental issues I do now.

I am sorry if it bothers you. Some things are good, yes, but given my life experience, they are few and far between.

If you want to give me love and a benefit, then maybe being male would not be such a burden on my soul.