Anxiety Feathers

I have social anxiety disorder, a rather severe case of it. It caused agoraphobia over a course of 5 years sitting here since I left wm.

This is considered a disability and I am compensated for this. This is because I cannot work, I cannot go somewhere and not have a panic reaction. I cannot drive and not have a panic reaction.

I can go to familiar places, like stores I have gone to for years but there was one I couldn't deal with. Any wm will bother me. It is just how they are. The one in my hometown is a third the size of the one in which I worked.

I imagine my anxiety like a bird's feathers. It is a protective barrier out of whack. It coils like a snake. It springs forth, my anxiety feathers ruffled and this can be a seriously bad thing as I have suicidal moments when stressed.

I talk about my peena because it is a good example to use to see if I feel anxiety. It fully retracts to a size that seems not possible given its dimensions when exited.

I cannot pee in a public space or if someone's watching me. This hurts my stress-damaged prostate gland.

You may think this is silly but anxiety disorder is not silly. I need to take a med just to sleep. I have anxiety when I lay down, heart beat, I feel uncomfortable. I take off my glasses when I sleep, can't see.

I sleep in the daytime. Only comfortable at night. Is that a healthy behavior? I don't think so.

I know I have issues, this one big issue, my anxiety feathers.