Self-Misandry

I have a constant pain in my pelvic area. Sometimes it intensifies. If you read enough of this blog, you know that I have prostate issues.

Why? I am too sensitive, have been since I was a kid. I don't know why, it is natural for me. I am very shy, always have been. I developed anxiety disorder and agoraphobia in my mid 30's. Stress taken too far.

Why? I have empathy. I like to help people, I am sweet and a good friend.

I believe I was not meant to be male. I am male and there is no changing that but when my soul came to me, it may have been a female soul. I have always believed that. I am too sensitive to discuss this in person.

I post pictures of my parts because I hate them. I hate them and the organs that continually produce this poison that makes me grow body hair and desire.

I am not a 'man'. I am male. To me, there is a big distinction.

If you think being male is great, you are sadly mistaken. Sometimes, it is far harder than you think, shame, despair, just feeling ineffectual.

I hate shaving, it hurts. Cuts. I have to wait a day for the cuts to heal to go anywhere. I have a new bodygroom electric razor for my body. Can't use it on face. Seems all right to use it on a far more sensitive area like a scrotum. Doesn't make sense to me.

I don't hate myself, I hate what I am.