Unlike Me

I have always worn pants. My legs are pasty white and somewhat hairy. Male legs. I have defined calves and strong thigh muscles. I like to run and am used to standing on my tiptoes because I am not a big guy. 

However, my male pain is getting worse and also, it gets so hot in here in the daytime. Not because it is hot outside, because of the Sun's heat. 

I am not particularly shy about my body. Other than my belly but that isn't so bad. 

I wear better underwear. Right now Terramar, but most often, MeUndies or C-IN2. I like my male parts secure, not loose. My testicles hurt if they are touched or squished like holding the legs together or in jeans. 

I wear Lee jeans only when I go somewhere. I wear sweat pants all other times but not this season. I will stick in a shirt and my underwear. I only wear briefs. Always have and always will. 

I had C-IN2 Core briefs on yesterday. I was asleep but awoke because I had to pee. I was excited and that hurts when my male parts are secured. 

This isn't sexual stimulation but a normal male process when he is sleeping. If you have a male companion, you can check to see if it happens to him. He isn't healthy if it doesn't. 

Sexual stimulation is a problem right now. The Zoloft I take makes it incredibly hard to finish. I get stimulated and cannot relieve it. Makes me super angry. 

I suppose that would be good if I had a girlfriend but I do not. 

I am not going outside unless I have to. That makes it hard to meet a new female friend. That is, if my anxiety feathers aren't ruffled by her attention. 

The Zoloft has helped blunt the panic reflex but seems to have strengthened my avoidance behavior. I was at the lavandiera a few days ago and when I was folding my pants, I felt a deep panic, which I do not understand. No one was around and I was busy. 

I feel mushy-brained because of the side-effects of my medicine. I get confused sometimes and the sex thing. Cannot concentrate. 

It is unlike me not to wear pants but it is getting to where it doesn't matter. So you can see more of me, so what? I am male, I have male parts. 

I wish I wasn't but that is well-established here.